At a Loss

There are so many thoughts running around in my head at the moment that I am at a loss as to what to blog about. Some things I really don't want to blog about because I don't have enough information to really blog them. I hate not being able to blog. I blog to release stress, free up space in my mind, and share my crazy life with all the people who love me. So if you dare to read on, beware...it may not make sense, I may not answer all your questions, and I may step on some toes or hurt some feelings. I apologize for that now.

Feeling Miserable~I really feel selfish for complaining. I really shouldn't complain...there are definitely other people with situations far worse than mine. I should be grateful...but instead I feel miserable. Not a I hate my daily existence kind of miserable, more of a stuck in the mud kind of miserable. It isn't that bad; however, it is still mud and I hate being dirty. I realize this is vague. Sorry.

Goals~I am a girl who has always had a goal. A goal of getting through h.s, getting my college degree, being a teacher, etc. I really don't have a goal for myself at the moment (other than getting a full time job-and there are far too many variables in my way at the moment). Why have I stopped giving myself a goal? Why have I put myself on pause?

Hurry Up and Wait~Is a USMC phrase that I am all-too-familiar with at this point. I hate this phrase. It makes me ill. It may be starting to make me physically ill...ugh.

Irony~I find it ironic (I guess that would be a good word?) that you can do something thinking it is the best thing for you. You think surely this will be great. Then you discover that even though the people are wonderful, you have many friends, you have at least a job in a time where lost of people are losing their's (spellcheck says "their's" is wrong...I'm fairly certain spellcheck is wrong), and all the while you're miserable. Stuck in the mud miserable.

Sorry for the doom and gloom post. Hopefully I'll get my head sorted out and will have a more logical upbeat post tomorrow.