Things I've been thinking about...

Lately, I've had a lot on my mind.  Way too much really, which is probably why up until the latter part of this week my newly found gym habit was flourishing.  I thoroughly enjoy hopping onto the elliptical, cranking up the tunes on my i-pod, and for 25 minutes disappearing into the music, the movement, and not thinking about much of anything except breathing through the next 25 minutes.  I'm working my way up to longer amounts of time, but this 29 year old body is having a tough time adjusting to the gym again.  My muscles are sore.  Everything hurts.  I'm a whiner, I know.

Some of the many things I've had on my mind:

What does it mean to be a military spouse?  How do you help prepare someone for that role without utterly terrifying them about the realities of a military spouse, especially with the nation at war?  How do you then adapt to life in the civilian world once you are no longer active duty?  How does that change your role as military spouse?  I have so many questions...and not nearly enough answers, but like any military spouse does I put one foot in front of the other and I keep on doing the best I can in all aspects of the role.  I recently read a blog that very concisely summed up some of the parts of being a military spouse.  You can read what she had to say here.  Some of it made me smile and nod, other things made me laugh out loud, and some things made me tear up at the memory of those moments in my own life.  I think she answered my question about what does it mean to be a military spouse pretty well though when she says  "I have no clue how to still my pounding heart when he finally walks through our door again, I don’t know how to pull my hands from his sand-stained neck and say goodbye, and I don’t know how to ever walk away from a man who stands while many choose to sit."  I think that is the key to any lasting relationship in the military.  Your spouse always has to be worth the wait, if not I'm not sure your relationship will make it-because the reality of military life is rather frustrating and down right hard sometimes.  I know I didn't have the worst of it either.  I'll openly admit that.  It wasn't all a rose garden, but I know it could have had a lot more thorns.

I recently read "You Know When the Men Are Gone" by Siobhan Fallon, an Army wife.  I was enthralled.  I had read a review or two about it awhile before it actually hit the shelves.  I anxiously waited for its arrival.  It is a collection of mini stories giving you glimpses into the different aspects of life as a military spouse. It left me wanting "the rest of the story" for each chapter, but I suppose that if I knew all of the story it might not have captivated me.  I made it all the way to pg 6 before stopping to write down a quote that makes all spouses that have had their loved one deploy smile and nod...

      "She hated grocery shopping, she hated cooking without a man to satiate; the only pleasure in her trip was picking out the food she would send Jeremy in a weekly package-beef jerky, Twizzlers and lollipops, hand wipes and magazines, things that could get crushed, exposed to high temperatures, sit in a box for over a month, and still manage to be consumed by home-desperate soldiers."

I remember grocery shopping with my sweet friend Anna at the commissary on Friday nights after a long week of teaching.  Shopping with a friend made the task more enjoyable.  The highlight was picking out the items we would mail out to our husbands in their next package.  Plus, it helped that once we were done shopping we would eat dinner together and split a bottle of Duplin County Wine.  Another quote contained in this same short story that made me chuckle: "Please get that Churchill-headed creature away from me.  The wives were always throwing their offspring at her as if they thought that the more she got spit up on, the more she'd want one of her own."  As if, lol.

Related to this was an incident that happened last week.  My mother-in-law told me we had some mail at their house.  Their house is listed as a permanent address on a few things from Dave's time in the USMC.  She said he had mail from the USMC. I should have asked for clarification (like read me the return address) and saved myself a few restless nights, since we didn't make it over to pick it up for a few days.  You see, the only thing I could think of that the Marine Corps might have for him at this point would be a recall notice.  The time is still ticking on the inactive duty contract.  So of course, I had to do what I do-run through every worst case scenario I could think of attached to this news.  How would I react, how was I going to deal, what would I do, what would he be doing, what happens if it all goes horribly, horribly wrong?  I tend to let my imagination run a little wild and the worst case scenario really means absolute worst case.  I won't type it, but I'll run through what little I am able to imagine in my head and think about how I'd deal.  I'm seriously afflicted.  Yet somehow, running through all the worst case scenarios makes dealing a little easier.  I feel a little more prepared.  Sort of.  I had some crazy dreams. I'm sure my sweet mother-in-law had no idea the panic that USMC mail might bring about in me.  I'm glad we eventually found out it was a letter from the VA and not the USMC.  Nope, not the same.  Not the same at all, lol. 

Pondering what it means to be a military spouse has also played a major role in another thought that is taking over a large percentage of my brain.  What am I going to do for the rest of my life? More than 10 years ago I would have told you I'd be teaching.  Even 5 years ago I would have told you that.  While I do sometimes miss the classroom and the thrill of watching students learn something new or think about something in a whole new way, the truth is there is plenty I don't miss too.  I keep debating about going back, but I just don't know.  I don't think it is going to be a retail career forever.  While I enjoy it, I'm a little wishy washy about it.  I've also been thinking about going back to school too.  This will probably wait a bit, but I'm thinking about it.  There have been a few things that have prompted me in this direction.  I'm pondering a master's degree in counseling or some such thing.  I've always been someone that people will share things with.  Even complete strangers will share things with me that they might not tell their best friend.  I don't judge them.  I don't share their secrets.  I just listen and comment as appropriate.  Rolled into that is pondering about doing PTSD type counseling.  I started thinking about it a little on the drive to DC after listening to one of the This American Life podcasts that had a story about a guy living with the effects of his life with PTSD.  It made my heart ache for many reasons, but it also made me wonder how can we be doing more to help these people?  What can we change about the process?  How can we help them return to life as usual after they've given up a part of their soul, their life, their security...?  Can we even help?  Well, I think I might like to try.  Pondering it anyhow.

I've also been reading an enthralling book entitled "What Was Asked of Us: An Oral History of the Iraq War by the Soldiers Who Fought It." I should add that the book includes Marines and I have found it extremely distracting that this particular publisher did not know that Marine is a title that is earned and as such is ALWAYS capitalized.  I want to write over every lower case m in the book, but it isn't my book so I can't.  A friend read this book and then loaned it to me to read, knowing that I enjoy reading this sort of book.  It gives brief glimpses into the lives of soldiers, what it was like for them, and how they are dealing with it now.  I have enjoyed reading this book-as much as anyone really enjoys reading about acts of war and the affects they have on people.  I quickly learned that I couldn't read this book at bedtime.  I love to read myself into sleepiness, but this is not a book that lets you rest easy if you read it right before bedtime.  I have had numerous ah-ha moments while reading and many, many things that these soldiers and Marines share make me want to stop, take notes, and write whole blogs about them.  I think I may have to go back and re-read this book doing just that.  Right now though, I have to keep reading-just not before bedtime.  There are so many things I've read in this book that just seem unimaginable to me.  I can't quite imagine dealing with these things and managing to continue day after day after day.  These soldiers and Marines did.  So have countless others just like them.  Oh my heart hurts for them.  The thing I love the most about this book is that it is written from a first person perspective.  The soldier or Marine is talking directly to you as the reader.  It makes it more real to the reader and that much more difficult to digest.  Crissy, this is not a book you should read.  In fact, you should not read the rest of this paragraph.  Other tender hearted readers or those not ok with graphic descriptions of war should skip the rest of this paragraph as well.  Look for the next italic sentence to rejoin me...  The second story shared is from a Marine from Task Force Tarawa telling about the beginnings of the battle in Nasiriya.  He talks about seeing an AAV (amphibious assault vehicle) in Ambush Alley after it had been hit by an RPG.  He said he could see the crewman inside on fire, but trying to get out (7-9of them).  He and the Doc leave their vehicle and run over to help.  He hands the Doc a leg that was laying on the ramp of the AAV and tells him to lay it off to the side because they are going to find who that belongs to.  He goes to help get another Marine out of the back, and as he was pulling him out his upper torso separated from his lower torso.  He ends up with only his upper half in his hands.  He passes it to the Doc telling him to "Put this in the back of the Humvee because Marines don't leave our dead or wounded on the battle field; everybody comes home.  Even if its a piece of you, I have a responsibility to your mom and dad to bring everything back."  Can you imagine what that would have been like?  How do you finish a task like that and then rejoin the battle?  I know, it is in the training-but still.  Another story shared by a Marine was about care packages sent from home.  This Marine was in Mortuary Affairs.  They had a big dry erase board in their meeting room with a Word of the Day.  His wife had sent him a Webster's build-your-vocabulary dictionary and every day they would choose a word of the day, write the word and the definition on the board, and then get Marines to use the word in sentences.  They would also try to see which Marine could use it with the highest ranking officer he could get to.  The Marine no longer remembers all the words of the day, but there is another Marine who kept logbooks of them.  I can see Marines doing this, it made me laugh.  Another Mortuary Affairs Marine shares that the first thing they did when a Marine came in was "we had to get his shirt sizes and his clothing sizes as a form of identification because you're issued garments when you join the Marine Corps, and it's crazy but grunts are known for wearing five different people's clothes when they go outside the wire.  They have to go on a mission, but 'hey my shirt's not dry yet.  You got a shirt I can borrow?' They go outside the wire with someone else's boots, with somebody else's dog tags.  They've got a shirt that somebody else's name is on.  So you end up with a Marine that comes in dead and he's got four different names on his person."  Wow.  I knew grunts would wear all kinds of stuff that was borrowed from someone else, but I never thought of the battle field ramifications of this.  One final story is about an MP stationed in Abu Ghraib Prison.  He was there during the infamous incidents, but while that is an interesting part of the story he had a lot more to say about other things too.  This MP tells us he is a born-again Christian and a born-again believer.  He believes that the Bible is the emphatic word of God.  He also believes that there is still a lot of good that can be done for people.  "Every morning I would go up to the roof and pray before a mission, and put my requests before God to make sure we made it home safely, and that morning I forgot, with all the chaos.  I just didn't do it.  I didn't pray."  On this particular day his job was to transport some of the Iraqi prisoners to court.  Normally when transporting prisoners they leave the cover off the back of the Deuce, the two and a half pound truck with benches in the back that is normally used for troop transport, so that the insurgents could see it was Iraqis in the back.  Today they were rushed and forgot to take the cover off.  They reach a point in the road where they would change lanes and get ready to exit the highway.  Cars begin flashing their lights to suggest trouble is coming.  The MP realizes he didn't pray today and so he begins praying while driving.  "God, I'm sorry I forgot to pray.  Please keep us safe."  They were hit.  All of the US troops were survived, but one of the Iraqi prisoners died.  The MP is troubled by this and said "God you picked the wrong guy for this job.  You picked the wrong guy to be in this country, because if I've got to deal with this I just can't take it.  There's no way I can take it.  There's no way I can handle losing like this."   His roommate, who was always picking on him about talking to God, came up to him and said "All the times you talk to God, and it paid dividends today, because all of your soldiers are alive.  And that speaks to me."  The MP realizes he didn't pray for the Iraqis, he never even thought about it, and he lost one.  Geesh.  It makes me want to just give every vet a hug, although that would probably freak them out a bit.
 
Okay Crissy and anyone else who skipped the graphic parts you can rejoin me.  I'm only halfway through this book.  It is taking me some time to read, process, and digest.  Some stories my mind has to ponder for a long time before I can move on to read the next one.  I think I will begin reading journal with it.  It might help me process a little better.  It has given me a lot to think about in relationship to a counseling degree.  Again, how can you begin to help when you have no idea the realities of war?  I suppose you can listen with an empathetic ear, treat them with dignity and respect, and listen, truly listen to what they do share...  I may not ever end up working towards a degree in  counseling.  I may not ever end up working with vets are on a large scale.  Who knows?  I'm still pondering.

My fortune cookie the other day said "You find beauty in ordinary things.  Appreciate this gift."  I try to, on both accounts.

Marine Corps Museum

A month later I am finally blogging about this wonderful place.  The Marine Corps Museum was our final stop on the weekend trip to DC.  I am so glad I was able to go.  The museum was being constructed while we were living in DC and was completed and open for business about a month after we moved to NC.  Dave was able to visit during one of his many 2-3 week workup prior to his deployment.  They went to train in VA and made a trip to the museum.  I was only a tiny bit jealous.  Yeah.  So, when Dave asked what I wanted to do while we were in DC the first thing on my list was visit the Marine Corps Museum...

I wrote this about the museum when we paused at Tun Tavern for a drink.  "The Marines are the best at what they do, so it shouldn't come as any surprise that their museum is amazing.  In the gallery you can walk amongst the history of our nation and the Marine Corps.  All ages can enjoy visiting the museum." 

We began our trip to the museum in the most important place-the gift shop.  I did not buy paper or pens, my mother would be proud.  In fact I didn't buy anything-at first.  I just wandered to see what kind of lovely wares were available for purchase.  I had specifically saved the majority of my spending money for the museum.  Marines put their emblem on everything they own and apparently their proud wives are no different.  (I'm kinda surprised I don't have an EGA tattooed on my butt or something. Maybe I need to go check that out in the mirror just to be sure... By the way, EGA stands for Eagle, Globe and Anchor which is the Marine Corps emblem.)  I found many, many things I would love to have.  I wanted to ponder my choices so we went to view the gallery.

The gallery is divided into different exposure points: The Legacy Walk (a quick view approach to the museum), Making Marines (a trip through boot camp), American Revolution, Global Expeditionary Force, World War I, World War II, Korean War, and Vietnam.  Each exhibit tells the Marine Corps story through pictures, videos, sound clips, and artifacts.  In the Making Marines exhibit there are videos of recruits getting off the bus standing on the yellow footprints, you can step into a sound booth and hear the drill instructor yell at you as if you were a recruit (flash backs anyone?), you can try to pick up the weight of a recruit's or Marine's pack, you can attempt to do a pull-up, and you can even visit the range.  I was unable to shoot at the range because the attendant was out to lunch, but on our next trip to the museum I plan to visit the range.  If you shoot expert at the range you can get a special coin from the museum gift shop.  We will need to dedicate an entire day to visiting the museum.  There was just too much to see and experience.

I think I really enjoyed the Vietnam exhibit the most.  You enter it by walking through a helo.  You had to watch your head, and the floor of the helo vibrated like I imagine a real one does, and then you entered a hot LZ (landing zone).  You heard the yelling, shooting, and felt the chaos of battle.  I was mesmerized.  It was at that particular exhibit that I made Dave get the camera out.  I can only imagine what it was actually like to experience Vietnam...or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Arlington. 

Another thing I enjoyed about the museum is the age range of those visiting the museum.  From the older Marines all the way to the toddler age kiddos of Marines, and yes they do let in people with no USMC association too, lol.  There was something there to capture each age group.  I enjoyed watching the faces of the other museum patrons as well.  They were just as captivated as I was.

After our trip through the gallery we went up to Tun Tavern to grab a drink and a bottle of Jarhead Red.  Jarhead is another nickname for Marines (and not one they are particularly fond of).  Jarhead Red is a wine produced by a fellow Marine to support Marines and their kiddos.  You can read all about it at their website Jarhead Wines. 

After our refreshing beverage we headed back to the museum shop.  I think I spent at least an hour in there debating and deciding what items to purchase for the grand total of $100.  Some of my favorites are my USMC Wife key chain that reads: "Once a Marine Wife, Always a Marine Wife" on once side and the other side says "Wives: The strongest love in the world comes from the most supportive and dedicated women.  Those women are Marine wives.  Semper Fidelis." and is surrounded by the words "God Bless our Husbands."  Wives are proud too, ok?  I also purchased a ton of bumper stickers, a deck of cards, two rocks glasses with the EGA, a Tervis Tumbler with the EGA and lid (this is my new favorite cup), a coffee mug for Dave with the EGA, and a recipe for a Marine wife (I know what it takes, but it was cute to see a specific recipe).

Our time in pics:

You can explore more of the National Museum of the Marine Corps by clicking here to see their website.

True North

I'm not a very good navigator.  If you've ever traveled somewhere with me you know that even if I follow the directions word for word I end up turning around at least once because even though I'm pretty sure x is where I'm supposed to turn, I second guess my self and drive right on by.  (At this point I could psychoanalyze myself, but I'll spare you.)  I can be a co-pilot and follow the directions.  I'm much more confident in that role.  I'm not sure where I was heading with that info, but ...  We made a trip to DC this weekend.  It is roughly a 12 hour drive from AL to DC.  When you stop at the knife outlet in Gatlinburg for an hour that makes it a 13+ hr drive.  That is a seriously long drive.  I drove the whole way, Dave drove the whole way, we each drove a different car.  (We were driving a car up here to sell to a friend from the good ol' USMC.)  The way back will be much easier because we will be able to trade off and we shouldn't have to stop at the knife outlet.  

I wrote the first paragraph last Saturday when we were in DC during the Martin Luther King Jr holiday weekend.  I began the first sentence of the second paragraph and then stopped.  I don't know what interrupted my thoughts, but I didn't find the time to come back to it until now...

I spent the 13 hr ish drive listening to episodes of "This American Life" an NPR show that airs on Saturdays.  A wonderful friend loaned me her ipod for the drive.  The ipod saved my sanity.  It made the first 6 hours or so pass by very quickly.  I really enjoyed the episodes.  You can download the podcasts for free.  I highly recommend them.  I think you can learn a lot about a person by borrowing their ipod.  It was fun to listen to someone else's favorite songs and random shuffle playlist.  I found a few new favorites to add to my own playlists.  (For the record I have an ipod Nano, but I need to do some revamping and updates my song library a bit.) 

The second half of the drive was spent in agonizing anxious anticipation (how's that for alliteration?).  A long car drive alone gives you a lot of time to think.  I needed some time to myself and boy did I get it.  Most of the drive was spent thinking about all of the things I wanted to do once we were back in the DC metro area and getting to see our friend Bynum again.  (One of my boys I miss dearly.)  As we crossed into Virginia the anticipation continued to grow, but I had another 3 hours or so before we would make it to DC.  My heart felt a little lighter as each mile brought us closer to DC.  I'm not sure anything could have deterred me from my path at that point.  My heart was drawing me closer home, my true north.  DC will always be home to me.  I have had many homes-Ohio, DC, North Carolina, and Alabama.  DC will always be the one that calls my heart.  I can't explain it.  I would love to move back to DC.  I'd move back tomorrow if I could.  I recently realized though that moving away from Alabama would cause me heartache too.  I love my Alabama family.  I love them fiercely.  They are such a blessing to me.  I know I will one day move from our current residence and I will cry.  I've only cried during one other mover-it was when we moved out of the farmhouse I grew up in.  However, DC still calls me.  I felt it the whole drive.  I realized it when we drove past the Nissan Pavilion where Dave and I went to see Rascal Flatts and Gary Allan in concert a month or so before we moved.  Dave sent me a text about it. My heart started fluttering and big tears rolled down my face.  We were home.  I instantly felt at peace in a way I rarely do.  I sent Dave a text back about being home.  I continued to tear up until we reached Bynum's apartment.  By this point it was almost 1am EST.  We had been up waaaayyyy too long.  We unloaded the cars and went to bed.  I only slept for a short time, but it was a peaceful sleep.  I didn't wake up a single time.  I felt refreshed.

Saturday I awoke to Bynum and Dave talking in the kitchen while Bynum made breakfast.  I lay there on the couch just listening to my boys talk.  It had been too long since I heard them banter back and forth.  Dave came to see if I was awake so I was forced to get up.  I then had the pleasure of meeting Bynum's girlfriend Kathryn.  She is so sweet!  I love her.  I feel sort of like a mother hen about my boys.  I want to see them well taken care of and meeting the ladies they choose has been fun so far.  I know they don't need my approval, but I feel a little possessive about them and want them to be happy.  I adore Kathryn and she gets my seal of approval-not that it matters.  Ok, back to breakfast.  Bynum makes a delicious breakfast.  He and Kathryn cooked breakfast for us every morning and it was yummy!  They made the best french toast I have ever had.  I thought Cracker Barrel french toast was great, but I was wrong.

After breakfast we all showered and went out to run some errands and spend the day together.  (We didn't shower together though, ok?)  Of course lasagna came up in conversation and we decided Kathryn and I would make lasagna for dinner.  It is a tradition.  It wouldn't have been a gathering with one of my boys present if there was no lasagna.  (Which reminds me I need to e-mail Kathryn the recipe.)  So we went to Safeway, the best grocery store in the world in my humble opinion, and purchased the ingredients for lasagna.  We also stopped at Gamestop, a liquor store, and Chipotle.  Lasagna takes awhile to make and we were hungry at this point.  We made it back to the apartment and unloaded the car.  Dave and Bynum watched the Ravens play the Steelers while Kathryn and I cooked.  It gave us a chance to talk a lot.  We would occasionally get score updates.  While the lasagna was in the oven I decided I needed a nap.  We had plans to go out that night and without a nap I would have been a grumpy girl.  So I slept for about an hour or so while the boys and Kathryn  watched the rest of the game.

I awoke from my nap, had some lasagna, and repaired the mess that was my hair. We then hopped in the car and headed into Baltimore.  We went to a neat little bar that was really like 3 bars in one.  It had a traditional sports bar type area, a pool table/dance floor area with a dj, and an enclosed patio bar area with a live band.  I ordered a margarita and set out to enjoy the night.  My second margarita had two shots of tequila in it, by my request.  (My husband should tell me no...)  My third margarita was my last thank goodness.  I had a grand time dancing until it was time to go home.  Wizzel was a happy girl.  Wizzel went to bed when we got back to the apartment.  Wizzel woke up Sunday morning with an upset tummy, but once she had breakfast she was fine. 

Sunday we got ready and rode the metro in to DC.  Bynum and Kathryn went with us to shop at Pentagon City Mall.  They then headed back to the apartment after lunch while Dave and I continued our trek through DC.  I miss big city shopping.  I spent a half hour in Banana Republic just looking at their sale racks.  I really miss big city shopping.  Really.  After I restrained myself from spending too much money Dave and I hopped back on the metro and went to the National Mall.  We walked from the Capitol to the World War II Memorial and took lots of pictures along the way.  I spent several minutes just listening to the sounds of the city and breathing in the air, quietly storing away the memories for later days.  The World War II Memorial is my favorite thing along the mall, unless it is the 4th of July and then it would be the fireworks.  It was dark by the time we reached the memorial, but it is a memorial that looks best at night if you ask me.  The fountains were turned off and the pool was empty because of the cold weather, but it was still beautiful.  We spent some more time taking pictures there and then we began the walk back up to the Capitol.  I had to pause halfway up Capitol hill to catch my breath.  We decided to go ahead and walk the rest of the way to 8th and I like we used to.  Once we made it to the barracks I nearly cried again.  I have so many memories of them.  Dave has many more.  I remember sitting out front in his big red truck while he went in to pick someone or something up.  I remember walking in when he moved the last of his stuff out of his room and into our apartment.  I remember going to the E Club after the Friday night parades to grab a beer.  I could go on and on.  We slowly walked back to the Eastern Market metro stop so we could make our way back to Bynum's apartment.  The city had changed, but it hadn't at the same time.  I've changed, but haven't at the same time.  It is still my home, our home really.  We spent the majority of the metro ride back in silence.  Each of us lost in our own thoughts and memories.  Each of us longing to be there again full time.  Sunday can be summed up with something Dave told me as we were standing on the National Mall "best Sunday ever."  I agree.

Sunday passed too quickly and Monday arrived before I was ready.  I'll leave the story of Monday to another blog.  I'm sleepy.  Maybe when I slip off into dreamland I'll dream of DC.  Maybe my dreams of DC won't need to be dreams forever...or maybe they will.  Maybe DC will always be my "happy place" that I love to visit and long to have all the time.  Who knows?

I'll leave you with our fortune cookie sayings from Sunday:

Mine said "Your dreams of glamour & luxury will come true."
Dave's said " Your life will be happy and peaceful."

Amen.

I'm missing my true North...

2011 Already?

Really?  Already? Ok, fine. 

Needless to say I can hardly believe another year has passed.  There have been so many changes in my life it is hard to know where to start...

In a short rundown of things my year went a little like this: became a co-manager at LOFT, went to Chattanooga for Airport Rendezvous Wknd, did a bathroom remodel, Combs came to visit, went to the beach, Mom moved in, received 2 tickets from a super annoying highway patrolman, 4th of JULY!, 5 year wedding anniversary, quit job at LOFT, became and assistant manager at JOCKEY, life came a little unglued, a fabulous friend and neighbor helped me keep my sanity, found some super glue for the life, Bivins turned 25, and Christmas came and went before I knew what happened.  Wow.  What a year.

There are some years that pass by so slowly that I'm able to blog all the subtle changes and nuances of my life.  Other years pass by so quickly and the changes are so time consuming I am left with no time.  No time to think about, let alone blog (or journal) the changes occurring.  This was one of those years.  Some of the changes have been great.  Others have been really, really hard.  Some have been kinda blah.  I'm hoping this year will be better.  Maybe not so many changes.  We'll see how it goes I suppose.

I'm not really a New Year's Resolution kinda girl because most of the time I break them.  I'm calling them my goals for 2011.  I'm a goal oriented girl.  I'm hoping I achieve my goals.  We shall see how it goes.

Goal 1: Get re-organized!  I'm not a girl that can focus well in chaos.  I'm sure a lot of you know this already.  The changes in 2010 brought a lot of chaos to my house.  Suddenly, I can't find anything.  I can't manage to pay bills on time.  I'm forgetting stuff.  It isn't good.  So, re-organize I MUST...or else no one will want to be around me.

Goal 2: Find a routine!  A retail schedule is not conducive to a routine.  My schedule changes day to day and week to week.  It makes planning anything really hard.  Add into that hectic schedule a Mom that needs a driver and it gets complicated quickly.  A routine is going to be hard, but the important step of this routine business is going to be a work-out routine.  I need to get back into the habit of stopping by the gym either before or after work.  I have the most success in stopping after work.  I just need to add some discipline to the schedule and make sure that whenever I am able I go.  I feel better, I sleep better, life is better whenever I do.

Goal 3: Purposefully make memories and take lots of pictures!  The past few years Bivins and I have been on a picture taking hiatus-or so it would seem from my lack of updated photos.  Normally we have a camera every place we go and take pictures all the time.  The past few years in AL, not so much.  It will change this year.  The way I remember most things is by either writing them down or taking pictures.  That means I need to be purposeful this year in making memories and recording them.  (This will also help with the glue situation.)

I'm going to stop with 3 goals.  Too many goals and I just get overwhelmed in my perfectionist world.  (Oh I'm so helplessly perfectionist.  It's awful.)  Those are my goals and I'm sticking to them.  Yep.  I. sure. am.

My Cup Runneth Over

Hmmm...that phrase really makes me want to go watch Hope Floats now.  I love Gena Rowlands and her character Ramona Calvert.  Plus, who doesn't love Harry Connick, Jr?  Seriously.  Ok, back to my original thoughts behind the post.  Several big changes have occurred in the last few months.  Some of them have received my blogging attention and some of them have not-mostly because I just don't know what to say about them or haven't had the time.  The newest change has been a job change.

I had been an assistant manager at LOFT since January.  I truly love LOFT, I really do.  Who doesn't love to play dress up?  However, it was quickly becoming clear in the last month or two that LOFT just wasn't the place for me any more.  There are a variety of reasons behind this decision.  The biggest reason is the fact that I was driving an hour in to work and an hour home.  That is 10 hrs a week spent driving, add in 40 hrs (or more) spent at work, and that leaves very little time for a life outside of work.  When I began my journey with LOFT it was at a location only half an hour from my house...as I moved up the ladder the drive increased.  I didn't mind it at first because there really weren't any options closer to home-until the Shops of Grand River came along.  The Shops of Grand River is a new outlet center opening up a mere 20-30 minutes from my house and right across the street from where my husband works.  I knew there would be a variety of opportunities arriving with their opening.  The problem quickly became what company could I choose to work with that would be as enjoyable as LOFT with a product I would be able to enjoy.  You don't leave the only career you've ever imagined yourself in (teaching) to settle for just any retail job.  At least I didn't and wouldn't.  I wanted a company I could believe in.  Thus began my search.  I began checking the website frequently to see what stores would be opening up.  I began trying to imagine myself with another company.  I began trying to figure out how I would leave my LOFT family, because that is how I feel about the majority of my LOFT co-workers.  They are my family.  We have our ups and downs, but we were in it together trying to be successful and rallying together through everyday life. We've experienced engagements, marriages, births, and even deaths together-so many new beginnings and endings.

Recruiters began visiting the mall where I worked asking for names of potential candidates for managers, associates, etc.  I would kindly take their card and think hmmm...don't think I would really want to work there.  One company I did go through the interview process and they offered me a job.  I turned it down.  {Gasp}  I know.  It was a very hard decision.  Believe me.  In a nation with a high unemployment rate I was not only ready to quit my current job, but turned down the first job that was offered.  I couldn't explain why I turned it down either.  I felt crazy.  The job just didn't seem like the right fit for me.  I'm a girl who trusts her instincts...sort of.  I spent the next few days/weeks wondering if I had made the right choice.  Then along came a job that sort of fell in my lap.  Granted, I impressed them in my interviews and if I hadn't they would not have hired me.  I received a call from the area manager wanting to set up an interview.  I went.  I talked a lot.  Weeks went by with little info.  I finally interviewed with HR.  A few days later along came an offer.  An offer I couldn't turn down.  Not because of money, not because of the shorter drive, but because it is a company I can feel passionate about, although those first two things helped seal the deal.  My new job is as an assistant manager at JOCKEY.  (I think I'll only work at companies who capitalize every letter of their name from now on.  From what I've heard it shouldn't be too hard either because people who work at JOCKEY are said to work there for a very, very long time.)  I have the pleasure of working with a store manager that I worked with at LOFT.  And a fun side note is that another manager I worked with at LOFT will be managing a store right around the corner from my new store.  Yay!

I've been amazed at the perfect timing in so many moments along this journey to a new job.  I can't really blog about a lot of them but just know I'm feeling really blessed and my stress level has gone down tremendously.  My last few weeks at LOFT were spent being the one in charge because our store manager found a new job.  I feel like I did my best, but I also feel like it nearly killed me at times too.  Not because I couldn't manage the store, I did a great job with that-but I ended up working 6 days a week at least two weeks and didn't work the schedule I had planned all week once in the five weeks or so I was the lone full time manager.  It changed daily due to circumstances out of my control.  It left very little time for life.  A life I love and want to keep.  Then came the job offer.  A weight was lifted and I began planning my exit from LOFT and my entrance into the world of JOCKEY.

My last day at LOFT was a lot of fun.  I went out with a bang and I hope my team had fun.  We rocked our numbers and I think our clients enjoyed themselves.  There are things I know I will miss at LOFT.  (New shipment anyone?)  I then had two days off to run errands and pack for Georgia.  Tuesday-Friday I stayed in Locust Grove helping move JOCKEY from one store to their newly remodeled store across the street.  I learned so much about the company I was amazed.  (Personally I think you should look them up on facebook, it will give you a glimpse into how relaxed and fun they are as a company.)  I was able to meet my fellow manager peers in the area.  I even met some lovely ladies from home office.  They patiently put up with all of my questions.  Trust me, I asked a lot.  The days were long-10 to 12 hours long.  The nights spent sleeping were short.  Especially when you stay up til 3 am brainstorming ideas and writing a list of questions you want to remember to ask.  We were done ahead of schedule so I was able to come home Friday instead of Saturday.  This left me with a weekend off.  My first Saturday and Sunday off since July.  Really.  I was able to learn a lot more about my new store manager and I think she was able to learn a lot more about me.  There are high expectations for our new store and our team.  I know we will be able to achieve them.  I'm hoping we can surpass them.  Just a note about how relaxed and fun the company is: the two ladies from home office hugged everyone before they left to catch their plane back to Wisconsin. (One of them even swept and mopped the floor.  Really!)   Retail friends: when was the last time anyone from home office hugged you, let alone did the grunt work in your store?  I'm so excited to work with them again next week in our new store!  Every job has its draw backs and I am sure that I will learn those in due time.  Right now though, I'm ready to have some fun!

In case you were wondering my weekend will be spent sleeping, laying around the house resting my tired muscles, and reading.  At some point I will venture beyond the house to shop for groceries.  I will unpack my suitcase and do some laundry, then repack for another three days of training in Georgia before coming back to set up the new store.  I may be out of touch online for the next few weeks as a result.  Can you believe we are halfway through October?!  I made my first pumpkin roll of the season.  The rest of October will pass in a blur.  Maybe I'll get caught up in November...nah probably not.  

Off to watch Hope Floats I think.

What's a Wizzel?

Last Sunday we had Jordan and Laura come for a visit.  Jordan had graduated from boot camp on Friday and is officially part of the USMC brotherhood.  Laura is his proud older sister.  Dave and Jordan had fun talking about covers, ribbons, blouses, and all kinds of other uniform parts while the ladies talked.  It always brings a smile to my face to see my Marine spending time with other Marines.  (No offense to those who aren't Marines, but they just relate to each other in a very special way that you have to witness to believe.)  During the course of the evening we brought out a montage of videos that Dave had sent to me during his deployment with the 22nd MEU.  One part of the video was a bus ride back to the ship from being out in port.  He introduced the Marines around him and asked if they had anything to say to "Wizzel."  Well, the guys who frequented our house on weekends were already familiar with my nickname, but on Marine was like "who's weezel, weezer, who?"  Then Goodson kindly explains, "you know like fo shizzle my nizzle?  She's Wizzel."  It goes on to show their conversions for the next 5 minutes or so, which at this point I should add they had indulged in a lot of alcohol while in port.  {Sigh}  I really miss those boys.

Last night I decided that I was going to make lasagna.  Lasagna is a meal I only make when we are having guests over for dinner because we don't really do leftovers well in my house.  I sent Dave a text asking if Jordan was back in town (he had driven Laura back to her home in New Orleans where she is finishing grad school).  He wasn't sure, but soon got back to me and said the Jordan would be coming over for dinner.  You see, lasagna is a meal for Marines.  They love it and almost always have seconds.  Hence my facebook status about making lasagna and wondering where my Marines might be.  It was nice to have a Marine over for dinner.  In a perfect world there would have been a few more Marine faces at our dinner table, but maybe some day I'll get them all together in one place for dinner again.  I really miss them.  (I know if I miss them, Dave must really miss them and vice versa.) 

Sidenote: My lasagna was a topic of discussion at one point during the bus ride video conversation.

Now for a complete subject change.  I was driving somewhere this week and my mom was along for the ride.  We were talking about people hoarding things or having too much junk.  I told her that I realized that I couldn't run away from home when I was younger-we've determined maybe around age 13 or so.  One time I made up my mind to run away and packed up all the stuff I wanted to take with me.  By the time I was done packing I realized I couldn't leave because I had too much stuff and I couldn't carry it all.  (This little story snippet tells you sooooo much about me, lol).

Where Does the Time Go?

I've been meaning to blog about this for almost a month now.  On September 6th we celebrated our 5th anniversary.  I can't hardly believe it has been 5 years already, but apparently it has.  It seems like just yesterday I was in Ohio with my ear glued to my cell phone, while Bivins was in DC with his ear glued to his hatching a plan about when we would get married.  I knew at the time that marrying him wasn't a mistake.  It was something I knew without a shadow of a doubt, more than I ever knew anything else before in my life.  I was supposed to marry this man.  There are times my heart sings and times that it cries, but I'm always glad I married him.  My life wouldn't be the same without him.  I wouldn't change a thing.

This new song by Rascal Flatts Why Wait reminds me of our "Augtember" plan to get married.  I first heard this song on my commute to work.  I really love the song, but I don't really like the video at all...could be because it is so cheesy and ridiculous.  I get it, but I wish it wasn't so cliche.  Still, I'm glad we didn't wait and have been married for 5 whole years.  I have so many memories I cherish from these five years.  I'm trying to file them away for future reference while still leaving room for new memories.  Our anniversary was spent with dinner our at Cheesecake Factory.  My absolute. favorite. restaurant. ever.  (Thank you Pailin and Shannon for introducing me to this for my farewell to DC dinner.)  We get to eat there about twice a year-anniversary and my birthday-and any more than that and I would need new clothes because it is so yummy!  I could eat my body weight in cheesecake...over the course of a month or so anyhow.  Yummy.

My original thought for my anniversary blog was to choose 5 memories that are some of my absolute favorites from the last 5 years...we recently spent a night sitting on the tailgate of his truck, looking up at the stars, and sharing some of our favorites-although they were categorized by cities/states.  (This is how I make timeline distinctions-life in Ohio, life in DC, life in NC, and now life in AL...)

So in no particular order here are some of my favorite memories of our first five years together.

1.  Moving in to our very first home together.  Our apartment in DC (technically it was VA) was wonderful...although my memory tends to gloss over the ugly parts.  Who could forget the u-haul being stopped on the national mall?  Or the fact that there were air fresheners plugged in to our sockets before we even had boxes moved in?  Or all those lovely closets?  I had a closet just for the boxes we saved for the next move!  Our first apartment is where we learned how to live with each other.  It sounds ugly...and sometimes it was...but other times it was too amazing for words.  I will forever cherish those times spent together, building a firmer foundation for our relationship that would get us through so many times spent apart in the coming years.

2. The 22nd MEU.  I'm pretty sure it was anti-together, but we made it through a six month deployment.  A little weathered, a little stressed, and a lot of longing, but we made it through.  Through the deployment experience it reminded me that even though I am capable of taking care of myself I really do need my husband.  I think we both were able to remind each other through cards, letters, videos and pictures that we truly care about each other.  I have all of them saved in a box...now if I could just remember which box...and they are some of my favorites.  Distance did make our hearts grow fonder.  I don't think either of us will soon forget the welcome home hug (really the sobbing Wizzel attack) when I finally spotted him after six long months apart.

3. Anniversary Beach Trip 2008.  This one was cut short due to a hurricane, but really did we expect anything less on our anniversary?  I mean we did get married in the height of hurricane season.  This trip was a fantastic way for the two of us to "get away from it all" after moving back to Alabama and beginning the adjustment to civilian life.  (Which by the way, is it really ever possible to adjust to this?  Nope.  I didn't think so.)  I loved our walks along the beach.  They reminded me of our freezing cold walks along the beach in NC when I would beg to go to the beach in December (or somewhere around then.)

4. Moving into our own place in Alabama...well our own rented place anyhow.  We truly have tried to leave a lasting impression on this new place.  We have remodeled some of the rooms-well repainted anyhow.  I have enjoyed turning our home, into a colorful home after our bland white and beige rentals from DC and NC.  My husband has an eye for paint, let me tell you.  Although I'm still trying to talk him out of painting the outside pepto bismal pink.  Just kidding.  I don't always understand where his visions are going, but he makes great choices and they turn out beautifully.  I look forward to some day owning a home of our very own and adding our own personality to it. (Hopefully I can train him not to shoot holes in the floor...another blog for another time, lol.)

5. Blogging while he is sleeping, er sleeptalking I mean.  This would actually be several different memories that add up to big laughs, from cleaning supplies to cardboard to speaking what I am certain is Russian-although he will neither confirm nor deny this, the man makes me laugh.  He just mumbled something about "blank this, deuces!"  Lovely dear.  Just lovely.  I love him.  It's a good thing too cause "hold still, [he has] a flashlight."  Lol  (If you are confused about this memory grouping you probably need to read some of my other blog posts, but I can't honestly tell you which ones.)

I'm hoping that the future brings many more fun memories.  Among them I'm hoping we are able to visit DC again soon, take a trip to Ireland, and spend lots of quality time together.  These years post USMC active duty life have been the most challenging, but I've learned a lot and loved a lot too.

What makes you happy?

I like to say in my other life I was a teacher.  In this life I am now a retail manager/wannabe fashionista.  I'm not sure why I feel the need to distinguish what I am because really I am many, many things to every person who knows me.  Plus, I'm still a teacher at work every single time one of my associates or clients learn something new.  I may not be planning lessons or grading papers or having parent/teacher conferences, but I am studying the latest trends and making them approachable for clients of any age, coaching my associates to be the best they can, and dealing with client service issues sometimes too.  Over the past two years I have sometimes struggled with whether or not retail is where I want to live and for the moment realized I do and that it isn't so cray for me to spend my day playing dress up.  My mom and dad both love to tell stories about how as soon as I was old enough to dress myself I would change clothes several times a day.  The first question I ask myself when I wake up is "what am I going to wear today?"  If it is an important event like a night out, a meeting with someone, or even a style event at work I can't think about anything else related to the event until I answer the "what am I going to wear question."

My style is slowly evolving over the past two years or so.  I am constantly working to dress my age.  I think women can find themselves struggling at certain ages to look age appropriate.  Specifically, women in their early to mid 20's who are just starting careers and want to look professional, but not stuffy or like they are still in high school and then women in their mid 40's to 50's that still want to be fashionable, but not look like they are dressing like their daughters.  I get to help these women find something to suit their age and life.  It is so much fun.  I had a client yesterday that was so excited when she came into our store.  She was a first grade teacher and probably approaching 40.  It was her first time in our store and after trying on two tops she said to me "I thought this store was just for young people, but you really carry things I can wear too."  I told her that was my favorite thing about our store, we dress women of all ages.  She browsed around and found a few other things to try on and I would go and give my opinion on the fit.  While she was trying things on she told me "I am having so much fun!"  Fantastic!  That is what we want-our clients to have fun.  You know what?  I had fun too because she was so excited about finding two tops she loved to start this school year.  Our last client of the day was a mom who had been searching for pants that fit.  She said she had no butt anymore and pants would just sag on her.  She started off with the wrong style and I said I really think you need to try this other style.  She jumped up and down when she put them on and said finally pants that fit!  She was sooooo excited.  I was excited for her. It was a great way to end the day...

I started my day by answering the ultimate question "what am I going to wear today?"  I purchased a skirt two weeks ago that I absolutely love.  I don't usually wear skirts at work, mostly because they don't usually fit me well or look flattering.  I LOVE this skirt.  It even has horizontal stripes and I bought it anyway, secretly wondering if the husband was going to say he hated it.  (For the record, he likes it too although that could be because it is a little shorter than most skirts/dresses I wear.)  I was inspired by the way our mannequin was dressed to add a little color to my outfit.  I typically wear the skirt with a black tank, black cardigan, and my black slingback heels (that I can wear approx 4 hrs before I need to put on my black wedge sandals with a slightly lower heel).  Yesterday I wore my skirt with a purple petal tee from last season, a jean jacket, and the bootie shoes that are so in style.  Facebook friends: the risk was wearing the bootie shoes with my skirt.  I hadn't worn the shoes with anything other than pants and I'm still not totally confident in wearing them with skirts, but everyone loved it yesterday (other than the husband) so I guess it worked.  Dee, the store manager, and I had been pulling outfits on Friday for our DM to come try on and Dee said one trend she hadn't been able to talk herself into was the bootie shoes.  I agreed that I just couldn't do it, BUT that got me thinking...I have some of the bootie shoes, why not try it?  So I did.  See... (Please excuse the pic quality b/c these were taken at the very end of the night and I was really very tired and apparently crooked.)

I also talked myself into purchasing a pair of Converse tennis shoes when I went to TJMaxx on Friday.  I had a Friday night free and so I met the husband in Trussville and we wandered the Borders, TJMaxx, Target, and Bed Bath and Beyond to name a few.  I found the perfect pair of Converse and they were a great price $24.99.  They made me happy.

I was anxious to wear them so I decided to wear them in to work.  If I didn't have to go to work then I think this is the outfit I would have worn instead.  Unfortunately, Converse tennis shoes are not appropriate work attire.

I can't wait to think up new outfits to wear with the Converse.  I do that you know.  Find something I love and create outfits around the new piece.  I don't know if it is the fun color or the fact that they are so comfy, but I instantly feel happy when I put the shoes on.  I may have to be careful not to wear out the happy in them.

Sand Between My Toes

In case you haven't heard this about me yet, I absolutely love the beach.  It is my favorite place in the whole world to spend time.  It doesn't matter what time of year it is, I love the beach.  If it happens to be winter time then I just have to wear about five layers of clothes to stay warm on my walk along the sand.  I became really spoiled living in NC because we were only about 20 minutes away from the beach.  It was great to just wake up in the morning and decide to head to the sand and surf.  I miss it.  A lot.

This is my fourth trip to the Gulf (and Dave's I don't even know what number b/c he was so spoiled by coming in the summers growing up...)  My first trip to the Gulf (Orange Beach, AL) was for our honeymoon.  I had never experienced anything quite like it.  (Beach vacations always occurred in VA so the water and sand were a little different.)  Our honeymoon was about a week after Hurricane Katrina hit the coast.  I wasn't sure what we would find when we arrived at the beach, but it turned out that the beach was mostly deserted and there were tons of sea shells.  Dave and I  took a walk along the sand together while the in-laws unpacked the car and relaxed for a minute.   (Yes, the in-laws went on our honeymoon with us.  We stayed in neighboring beach houses and it was kinda fun.)  Dave and I came back from our walk with huge seashells that washed ashore whole.  (By huge I mean shells the size of my hand.)  That is the one lasting memory I have about our honeymoon that years from now I will still share with you, the giant seashells.

My second trip to the Gulf occurred for Dave's pre-deployment leave.  We spent about 4 days at the beach. just prior to going back to NC so he could leave "on a boat."  We brought Dave's brother from another mother Tyrone with us as well as the in-laws again.  It was another fun trip to the beach.  Bonnie and I went to lay in the sand while Mr. B. and the boys fished.  We took some wonderful family pictures during that trip.  Some of the pictures taken are among my favorite pictures of our family together.

My third trip to the Gulf happened for our third wedding anniversary (the summer Dave EAS'd from the USMC).  It was our first trip with just the two of us.  We had a lot of fun, but just like family vacations growing up our anniversary hits right in the prime of hurricane season.  We were able to spend about 2 days at the beach before we had to head home a day early because of Gustav coming along the coast.  I remember being happy to spend some time at the beach with my husband (because together is a great place to be), but I also remember the trip home taking a very long time because of all the traffic from people evacuating.  Gustav didn't really make an impact, but better to be safe than sorry.


And now to my fourth trip to the Gulf.  We didn't make it to the beach at all last year.  Not a single time.  I decided this year that we were going to make it to the beach or we were going to need to move a little closer to one.  (I still want to move closer to the beach, but it may have to wait awhile.)  Dave and I began planning and I said that we should see if we could manage a whole week at the beach.  We haven't ever taken a week long vacation anywhere with just the two of us.  All of our time off when he was in the USMC was spent visiting family (and we loved it that way); however, we were getting to the point we really needed a vacation.  After much planning and waiting and planning some more, here we are...together for a week at the beach.  We arrived on Sunday and made a trip to the Tanger Outlets to see what deals we could find.  We walked around and around and around.  I found a few things to purchase and Dave found another pair of Oakleys.  We finally stopped shopping because we were hungry and went to Mellow Mushroom for a yummy dinner and a tasty beer (Harp and Guinness on tap).  By the time we made it to the beach house we were a little tired.  We unloaded the car-seriously how many bags do two grown adults need for a week at the beach?  Too many apparently.  I dread the day we should have to travel with children.  If that happens hopefully I'll learn to be a lighter packer.  Honestly.  Two duffel bags, a suitcase, a bag of just beach towels & shoes, a bag of food stuffs, and bags of I don't even know what...too much stuff!  We watched some tv and then went to bed.

Monday morning I woke up at 8:30am unable to sleep any longer.  Someone didn't tell my body we are on vacation and I can sleep all day if I want.  Maybe I sleep more peacefully at the beach, thus requiring fewer hours of sleep.  I was awake before Dave, like a whole hour or two before him.  That doesn't usually happen either.  I went to the living room and watched some tv.  (We like having cable tv

(Mom, I was thinking about you in this pic and how much you love the beach too.  "I  carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart...")

After our walk we ventured to the grocery store to find some lunch and dinner fixin's.  The best part of the trip was Publix.  We purchased a basket of fruit and only spent $20.  I am now in love with Publix.  That same basket at Wal-Mart would have been probably $30 and the fruit would go bad in a day or two.  I don't think it will be the case with our Publix fruit, but I will let you know.

I also purchased a travel sized edition of Scrabble.  I meant to bring our game from home, but with all those other bags I forgot.  (Did I mention I am a last minute packer?  It probably didn't help.)  I am ok with the new purchase, in fact I love it.  The Scrabble tiles click into the board.  For an OCD person like me it is an amazing thing.  No more making sure the tiles are perfectly aligned on the squares.  No worries that bumping the board will shift all the tiles and mess up the words.  I love it!  We played two rounds last night.  It was a lot of fun.

Now I'm off to see what today at the beach shall bring...

Dry Spell

It has been somewhat of a dry spell for my blog.  My life went from part-time worker with an amazing amount of time leftover to write away to full-time co-manager with absolutely no time to think up a complete sentence, let alone take the time to type it out.  I spend my "down time" aka "off days"  doing all the things I can't manage to do on days I work and I also try to catch up on a bit of sleep.  (Yankee's that is what southerner's call a day off...an off day....I know an off day sounds like something is just wrong, but nope-here it means you don't have to work that day.)  Tonight I decided I would just blog about the random things rolling around in my head that if I had all the time in the world I might write a whole darn blog about it.

Facebook Status (FBS): Is it a bad thing if you think of random things you would make your facebook status throughout the day?  I feel it may be a bit obsessive.  Oh well.  For instance, I just made my facebook status "If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the way to a Marine's heart is through the liquor store...just sayin'."  I, loving adoring wife that I am, bought my husband a six pack of Strongbow at the liquor store tonight.  If you didn't deploy with the 22nd MEU almost 3 years ago then you may not have had the pleasure of drinking the delightful cider in....I think it was Malta.  My Marine loves it and spent a lot of time talking about it and hunting it down, but to no avail. (Except for that one time in Ohio last July when we were inadvertently delayed by my stupidity and paid the idiot fee.)   One day he was delightfully surprised when he walked into our local liquor store (where they pretty much all but know him by name) and found it.  He told the guy how excited he was to find it and the guy said from now on Dave will be able to find it there.  In fact, as I picked up the six pack from the store the same guy said "Strongbow is good stuff" to which I replied "Yeah, my husband loves it."  He knew exactly who I was talking about.  Is that a bad thing? (Note to self: Next time take advantage of that opportunity to ask about the freakin' Duplin!)  Anyhow...if I could write a paragraph for my status instead of a line or five....this is what I would write today...  I really like doing that.  You know ...  dot, dot, dot.  (I'm crazy.  Friday Night ladies, at least I don't overuse adjectives.  Honestly!)

FBS: "So much for straight hair..." -  It wasn't raining when I left my car to get a delightfully tasty cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera, but after ordering and receiving said bagel it was time to return to my car and zip across the street to the mall for work.  It was pouring down rain at that time and I didn't bring my umbrella in with me.  I looked a little weathered the rest of the day.  My bagel was delightful though.

FBS: "Finally watched Julie & Julia.  Thanks Biv Biv for putting it on our instant queue!" - He added it to our instant queue on Netflix probably a month ago, but refused to watch it with me.  Thanks to the rain I had time to watch it this evening and it was a wonderful movie.

FBS: "I think I'm allergic to Alabama" - Yeah this was yesterday's status.  I think I really am allergic to AL.  My eyes are puffy, my nose is stuffed, and my head feels like there is an elephant in there.  Ugh.  It started with a terribly raw throat.  We've progressed to hacking, er I mean coughing and sneezing.  Lovely stuff these allergies.  Just when I get used to one temp the weather makes a drastic change to throw the sinuses all out of whack.

FBS: "About to slip into a cough syrup coma while watching The Ugly Truth again." - Yeah, I've forgotten whatever else I was going to write and I'm going to allow the cough medicine to take over and watch The Ugly Truth again.  I'll probably fall asleep on the couch too. 

Blog Readers: Have a wonderful night.  Maybe my dry spell of blogging will experience a rainy season soon...

Finally Part 2

Sorry it took so long to write about part 2 of our fantastic "Airport Rendezvous Weekend" celebration.  Life after the weekend away was a bit tiring and it hasn't really stopped.  I'm feeling a little over scheduled some days.  I can hardly believe March will be over in a little more than a week.  It doesn't seem quite right that it is almost over, but time flies when you are having fun, right?  Ok...on with part two.

We left the house and were on our way to Chattanooga.  I actually stayed awake the whole ride there.  I typically fall asleep in the car if it takes too long to get somewhere.  It only took a little over 2 hours to get to Chattanooga.  We checked in to our room at the Hilton Garden Inn and dropped off our bags.  (Almost as nice as the one in DC...they are kinda tied in my mind for the best hotel I've stayed in thus far award...although the Chattanooga one had a wonderfully wonderful bed that allowed me an amazing night of sleep.)  Then we walked across the street to find some dinner.  Bivins tried to walk me out in front of a car too.  You would think by now I would stop trusting that he wasn't going to get me run over and just look both ways for myself, but I haven't seemed to learn that yet.  We ended up eating at Applebee's and walking back across the street to the hotel.  Our room had a lovely whirlpool tub and it was quite relaxing.  I almost fell asleep in the tub it was so relaxing.  I somehow managed to crawl out of the tub and into the aforementioned wonderfully wonderful bed for a long night's sleep.  I now know that should we ever "settle" somewhere that I would like a whirlpool tub and a wonderfully wonderful bed in my home.  It isn't up for negotiation.  I don't think Bivins and I would really have to negotiate about it anyhow, he liked them both too.  He slept til noon!  He very rarely does that. 

Saturday we woke up late.  Like noon late.  We finally managed to get ready and headed out to the mall to wander around a bit.  We discussed doing some touristy type things like going to the aquarium and visiting Ruby Falls, but we opted to spend the weekend relaxing and enjoying the time together instead of being tourists.  We ate lunch (at like 2pm) at Big River Grille & Brewing Works.  We sampled their homemade brews and selected our favorites to sip on during lunch.  In addition to great beer they have great food too.  My favorite was the baked potato soup.  YUMMY!  Oh it was sooooo good.  I thought about getting some to go, but didn't.  Man it was good.  I am sure that we will visit there again should we make it back to Chattanooga.  We shopped around at the mall a bit and didn't really find anything.  (Essentially we were wasting time until dinner, lol.)  We did manage to find a set of towels and a shower curtain that inspired the remodeling of our spare bathroom a.k.a the eyesore.  After a few hours we decided to figure out where to eat dinner.  We selected O'Charley's because we have not eaten there since living in J-ville and we really love their food.  Plus, it was right across the street from our hotel and we could walk there.  Which means we could both drink and not have to worry about driving.  Prior to heading back to the hotel we decided to stop at a wine & liquor store.  We thought we would just stop and see if maybe they happened to carry Duplin County Wine.  (I'm pretty sure this is the ambrosia of the greek gods.  I may be a little partial, but I think it is what they were drinking.)  We wandered the whole store, which was pretty big-it almost rivaled the ABC store on Camp Lejeune.  Yeah it was big.  Anyhow, we wandered and had just decided to leave when we turned around and BOOM!  There it was, the drink of the gods.  I clapped and giggled like a little girl.  I'm pretty certain that the owners thought I was a touch crazy.  We bought 9 bottles.  We probably would have purchased more, but they only had 3 bottles of the Hatteras Red which is my absolute favorite.  (I'm telling you I would have made Bivins buy every single bottle of HR they had.  Lucky for him they only had 3.)  We did get their business card and they said that if we give them advance notice they can purchase a case of it for us next time.  You can bet I'm keeping track of that card.  I love that stuff!  (I think it was the only thing that saved my sanity at times while the boys were deployed.  No I wasn't an alcoholic, but Friday nights with Anna would not have been complete without our bottle of Duplin, especially after a week of teaching.)  We carefully stowed the wine in our hotel room and then walked across the street for dinner.

There was quite a wait for a table at O'Charley's so we ended up sitting at the bar, which was first come first serve.  It was fine with us.  I believe we each started the night with a margarita.  The food was yummy and so were the drinks.  We had Sangria and Bivins also had a vodka tonic or two and even some beer.  Sometime after we finished our food the guy next to Dave said something about "you just drank enough to take down a water buffalo!  I would have been sick by now."  Dave said "yeah."  Then they struck up a conversation about Haiti and somehow learned that the guy was also a Marine and had been with 3/8 (Dave's old unit) when they had been deployed to Haiti.  They bough each other beers and continued chatting for awhile.  The Marine kept apologizing for his language during some of his stories and I would laugh and say "it's no big thing I'm the wife of a Marine and I love hanging out with the boys."  It was so much fun to meet another Marine on our trip away.  It made me laugh and smile (Bivins too).  We finally wandered back across the street to our hotel room and relaxed in the whirlpool tub til I felt like jello.  We set our alarms for the morning and slipped off to sleep.

Sunday we woke up and knew we had to leave.  Yucky.  We showered and gathered our belongings.  Dave did the final check to make sure we didn't leave anything behind and we were off in search of breakfast.  We ended up eating at Moe's (similar to Chipotle) and then we drove by a Fresh Market.  We decided we would shop there since we haven't been to one since we left J-ville.  We bought all kinds of yummy things, including steaks and potatoes. Then we finally made the trek home.  It was nice and sunny so I slept 80% of the way home.  I just couldn't keep my eyes open.  We finally made it home.  Crissy was reading on her front porch so we wandered up to show her the stuff we found for the bathroom.  She loved it.  We unpacked the car and began cleaning the house.  It looked terrible.  Then Dave cooked our yummy dinner.  Steaks on the grill and baked potatoes.  Before I knew it I had to go to sleep and it was back to the daily grind of work and school...

Nothing can compare to that first weekend spent together, at least not in my mind, but it was a really wonderful, relaxing weekend spent away with my husband.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  

Airport Rendezvous Weekend Celebration~Part 1

This past weekend we celebrated our 5th "Airport Rendezvous Weekend" together. The first weekend took place in Feb 2005. Bivins and I began our relationship with lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and...you get the idea...lots of phone conversations. Enough to make my family highly irritated about the cell phone permanently glued to my ear when I wasn't student teaching, at work, or sleeping. We first began talking somewhere around the end of September/the beginning of October when my lovely friend Abbie gave some Marine my phone number. (It wasn't Dave, but the other Marine didn't want to call me so Dave did.) The rest as they say is history...but I guess I'll share it in case you haven't heard the story. The idea of "Airport Rendezvous Weekend" was hatched as a plan for me to fly to DC and spend the weekend hanging out with Bivins to see how things would go in person. We chose President's Day weekend b/c he would have an extra day off to spend with me. Also, it gave me time to save some of my substituting money to spend during the weekend. I purchased a plane ticket, spent several hours choosing a hotel I could afford in a decent part of town (went with the Hilton Garden Inn), and then counted down the days until I would get to fly to DC. Finally the day of my flight arrived and I nervously waited to board the plane that would take me to what I knew would be a life changing weekend(I left somewhere around 5ish I think)...I just wasn't sure if it would be good or bad until I got there. It was the first time I had flown by myself and I am a very nervous traveler. I spent the first half of the flight wondering if I had forgotten anything important and the second half nervous about how the weekend would go.

I imagined our meeting hundreds of times, but nothing I imagined compared to how it actually occurred. (I arrived somewhere between 7-8pm.) My plane finally landed at Dulles International Airport after what felt like hours, but it was really probably only 45 minutes or so. I not so patiently waited to get off the plane. Once I got off the plane I followed to signs to baggage claim. If you haven't had the pleasure of a trip to Dulles then you may not know that finding baggage claim at Dulles is a bit like a treasure hunt. I turned down one hallway only to be met with another sign, and another, and another, and another. I'm not sure how many twists and turns I made before I finally came to baggage claim. (By this point my feet hurt b/c in an effort to impress I put on black dress boots with my outfit. They were fun to take off and put back on at security checkpoints too.) I began the hunt for the Marine in the pink dress shirt, which actually didn't take long to find. I think I spotted him a minute or so before he spotted me. I gave him a big hug and at that very second knew that he was something special. We grabbed my suitcase and hopped into another Marine's truck so that he could drive us to our hotel. I was so nervous in the truck I didn't talk hardly at all. I had spent months talking about anything and everything with Bivins, but I couldn't manage more than a few words when I met him face to face. We made it to the hotel-one of the nicest I've ever stayed in-and dropped off my bags so we could go get dinner. Bivins had a present for me since we had missed Valentine's Day the previous week. He had purchased a lovely white gold heart shaped necklace with 3 little diamond chips. It was beautiful. He chose something that suited me perfectly. (I wore it almost every day after that. I even wore it on our wedding day.) The rest of the weekend I only remember in bits and pieces. I know we visited a bookstore and had fun walking the aisles browsing books, we visited the barracks because I wanted to see them so I knew where to imagine him when I was talking to him on the phone, we went to the mall (where I would later work after we were married), we ate out, we found a cute turtle ring we didn't buy, I met a few friends Combs & Martin (and probably a few others I don't remember), and I know he called my mom and sisters (woke the sisters up) to ask if he could marry me. (Mom said he had to ask the sisters-who didn't care they just wanted to sleep.) So from that weekend on we were unofficially officially engaged. I received my temporary turtle engagement ring in the mail about a week later and I wore it everyday. Still have it, but I don't wear it much because it doesn't fit my right hand very well. I flew home Monday afternoon a woman who knew that she had found the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with (or his life depending on how it all plays out.) We both had a weekend we'll never forget. So every year we celebrate the anniversary of that wonderful weekend that changed our lives forever. (We both agree it might be more important to us than our wedding anniversary. Even though our wedding made our bond official for the government and God, that first weekend linked us together forever in our hearts and minds.)

So now that you know why the weekend is so very special to us I'll tell you a little bit about how we spent our weekend this year. We decided it was time to get away for a bit. We haven't really been anywhere on a vacation in the last year or so. We've been home to Ohio, but that is a teensy bit different than a weekend spent relaxing. My weekend actually begins on Thursday night when we decided to exchange presents. Bivins knew he was getting a Dremel Multi-Max because I had to call him from Home Depot and verify I was purchasing the correct power tool. So I told him he could go ahead and have it since he knew what it was, but I was saving his card for the weekend. He said I was going to get my present now too since he had his. (He had been trying to give it to me for at least a week or so at this point and I kept telling him it wasn't time yet.) He goes to the gun safe to get it. I'm thinking he purchased something to maybe go with the gun he bought me for Christmas. He comes back and is standing behind where I am seated on the couch and says "close your eyes and put out your hands." I open them to find a Zales box in my hands. I'm thinking maybe he purchased me another necklace, but nope. I opened the box to fin a diamond anniversary band inside. I smiled great big! I was so surprised. I've had a simple solitaire and plain wedding band. I didn't really need anything else at the time. I thought maybe someday down the road I would think about adding something to it, but hadn't thought about it recently. I love my new band. It is so pretty and a very nice compliment to my diamond solitaire. I didn't want anything that would detract from it. Bivins does a wonderful job picking out jewelry for the Wizzel. After I got over the shock and surprise from the the lovely gift I finished packing for the weekend. I had to work all day Friday so I left Bivins with a to do list that included taking Zeke and Zeus to his parents house for the weekend. Grandma Bonnie loves to babysit the fur babies and Zeke loves going to visit, while Zeus spends at least the first day he is there hiding under a bed. (Bless his heart he's just a little special.) All day spent at work waiting to leave for our weekend was similar to the anticipation of waiting to board the plane. I've never been so happy to be done with work for the day. Then I drove home through the end of rush hour traffic. Yucky. I made it home and threw my make-up, toothbrush, and straightener in my bag. I stopped next door to say hello to the Friday Night Ladies and pick up my package from my momma. She did a beautiful picture frame for us. I love it! We put our bags in the car and we were off to spend the weekend in Chattanooga...

To Be Continued...

My Mission

I started this mission quite some time ago. I even blogged about it and suggested you join me in my mission. It was a mission to purchase, read, and change after reading Beth Moore's latest book "So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us." I told you I was going to purchase my copy from amazon. Well, I was...until the laptop came down with a virus and the desktop pc hadn't been put together. Several days after the laptop became infected I finally put the desktop pc together and it was up and running, but running verrrrrryyyyy slowly compared to the laptop. So by the time I checked facebook, read my e-mail, checked my bank account balance, and checked to see if anyone had blogged anything interesting I was tired of waiting on the slooooowww pc and logged off. I finally remembered I needed a book at the beginning of this week. I place my order on amazon and decided to only purchase one book and pay the shipping. Two days later my inbox was lacking a notice saying my items had shipped. I logged onto amazon to check the status of my order to find that my order was scheduled to deliver between Feb 24th and March 8th. What? Are you kidding me? Apparently orders are being delayed on some items due to the winter storms. So I cancelled my order. I decided I would make the trek to a real bookstore and pay the few extra dollars to get the book in hand much sooner. Saturday night I was finally able to make it to the bookstore to begin the journey of completing this mission.

This is the point in the story where my mission changes a little bit. I am still very excited about my Beth Moore book, but have yet to open the cover. Once I enter a bookstore time stops. I must wander all of the aisles browsing the titles looking for something that catches my eye. If it were a library I would take home a stack of books, but since I must pay for the books I limit myself to only 1 or 2 and wait until a book "speaks" to me. I found several books that left footprints on my mind and heart, footprints that I may revisit some day when I have a larger book budget. Ever since I married a crazy, tender-hearted, warrior-like Marine I have enjoyed reading stories about Marines and their brotherhood. (Ok, truth be told I have always loved reading historical fiction and more recently historical nonfiction as well.) So after locating my Beth Moore book right inside the doorway and selecting a copy for myself, I wandered over to the military/history section of my wonderland called a bookstore. I picked up several different selections and pondered spending my $16+ on them, but continued searching until I found a title I couldn't put down, "Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives" written by Jim Sheeler. I read the synopsis on the back of the book and knew I would like it, but just like watching the movie Taking Chance this experience was going to be like poking a bruise just to see if it would hurt. I turned to the center of the book and looked at the 24 picture pages. I quietly read the captions with a sad heart until I came to a picture and caption that made tears roll down my face in the middle of the bookstore. At that moment I knew I couldn't put this book back on the shelf. I simply must read this story...

I couldn't wait to get home to begin reading this story. It is a story that touches upon a variety of aspects in a deceased warrior's journey home to a final resting place. (This is an issue near and dear to my heart since my own Marine played a role in countless other grieving Marine families' lives during his time in DC.) The picture that made tears roll down my face was of Katherine Cathey, wife of Marine Second Lieutenant James J. Cathey, and his casket ( facebook users view original post if you'd like to follow the hyperlink to see the photo). Katherine Cathey refused to leave his side the night before his funeral saying she wanted to spend one last night sleeping by his side. The Marines there to guard him during the night located an air mattress, some sheets, and pillows so that she could spend the night with him. She fell asleep listening to a playlist on her laptop of songs they would have listened to at the formal wedding they would never have. There were several parts of the book that made more tears quietly roll down my cheeks, but several times I had to smile and laugh to myself. I finally read about the Marines locating and preparing this makeshift bed for Katherine. It is so like Marines it makes me smile. It reads as follows:

In the mortuary the night before Jim Cathey's funeral, two Marines stood near the casket, unfurling sheets on a makeshift bed.

"Make it looks nice, dude. Make it look nice," one of them said.

"Who are you, Martha Stewart?" the other one shot back with a grin.

Another looked at the blanket.

"If you're pregnant, do you get hot or cold?"

One of the Marines who has a child of his own looked at the bed.

"She's going to need another pillow," he said. "Since she's pregnant, she'll need to put a pillow between her legs."

Then they saw the car lights outside and took their positions.

One of the Marines asked Katherine if she wanted them to stand guard over Jim throughout the night. She said yes because she felt like Jim would have wanted them to do so.

The next chapter goes on to give you glimpses into the lives of these particular Marines, personal friends of Jim's, who came to bring a brother home and take care of his wife left behind and their unborn child. It is what brothers do in times of need.

Many of the reviews state that this book should be required reading for every American. I agree wholeheartedly, yet I know that not every American would truly appreciate the value of the lives in this book. Some Americans just don't get the fact that there are still Marines and soldiers dying in war and their families are left to navigate life without them. Even though Marines have left Iraq, there are still Marines in harms way in places like Afghanistan. (A country many of us didn't even know how to spell its name 10 years ago.) I still say my prayers for Marines in harms way often and include their families in those prayers too. I finally finished reading this book tonight and I just couldn't go to sleep until I blogged out my thoughts.

I am slowly finding my niche in life beyond my time as the wife of an active duty Marine. It has been a much harder adjustment than I ever thought it might be. It has tested me, my Marine, and even our marriage at times. Slowly we are each finding things that bring us those moments of happiness. Each of us rushes home to share stories about our run ins with other Marines or Marine family members. Those quick moments that remind us that our Marine family is still around, just not as easily accessed like it was during active duty. Those moments bring a smile to each of our faces. We also have taken newer Marines and their family members under our wings as well. A few weeks ago we took a brand new Marine and his lovely girl out to dinner while he was home on leave after completing boot camp. It was a truly fun night and we enjoyed welcoming them to the Marine Corps family. We look forward to supporting each of them in their journey through life during active duty. We know another young man who has made the decision to enter the Corps and look forward to supporting him as well. Our mission continues...