I heard an advertisement on the local radio station for a news segment that caught my interest. It takes a lot to catch my interest where the news is involved. I'll blame it on the fact that I have a Marine for a husband who was deployed not so long ago. A Marine wife's nightmare is played out on the news daily...lots of "bad" news about IED's, combat casualties, insurgent attacks, etc will make an already restless night worse. Ok, side tracked for a moment...back on track now. This news segment was advertised as the military spending money sending numerous "recruits" to Parris Island. What makes this so significant? Well, they are sending educators to Parris Island. You can view part one of the story here http://www.wnct.com/midatlantic/nct/news/local_news.apx.-content-articles-NCT-2008-02-21-0056.html I watched the segment to see that millions have been spent over the last 20 years to send teachers to Parris Island to give them a taste of what recruits go through in the process of becoming a United States Marine. Apparently some say that this should not be happenning because there are recruitment centers and schools should not be one of those places. This sent me into a mental rant! I paused for a moment to ask my Marine husband...what do you think of this? He's slurred something not so nice about "liberals" and tree hugging hippies. We agreed that this thought process didn't make sense.
There are several reasons that this statement of teachers seeing what the Marine Corps does to create a Marine was wrong bothered me to the core. As an educator it is my job to think about the welfare and future my students will have. I am to do all I can, within reason, to help prepare them to "be productive citizens in the 21st century" (a direct quite from our school mission statement). In order to do this it is my job to educate myself on possible careers for my students. It would be a good time to point out that I currently educate 6th graders, but would like to move up to the high school age group. I remember having several different business people come into our classrooms to talk about their careers throughout my own k-12 education. How is a teacher learning about the process of becoming a Marine any different? Is it because it has to do with the military? The military is a business, just like any other...except their "employees" literally sign over years of their life. If some high school student decides this is a good option for them, then I don't see how an educator being more informed about their student's possible career choice is a bad thing. Another thing I seem to remember occurring a lot is regular visit from recruiters to our high school during lunch hours. They were there on a weekly basis. Let's face it, we live in a world of turmoil. Someone needs to be brave and willing to step up and say "I'll make a sacrifice so others can be safe." The average age of an infantry Marine is 17-22 years old, according to the Marine I married. You find recruits in high schools, not just for the Marine Corps, but for all branches of the service. If I learn more about what it takes to become a Marine I don't think that will lead me to persuade anyone to become a Marine. You don't sign a contract like that unless you want to do so. I know a lot more than the average civilian about Marine Corps life, I think if anything I would encourage my students to think very carefully about whether or not to join the military. It requires sacrifices of all kinds to be a member of the military. Things like doing without some of the luxuries of life (both during deployment and being stateside), living far from family and having limited contact with them at times, saying more "see you laters" than "hello's", moving-a lot, biting your tongue when someone says something ignorant about what you supposedly do when all you want to do is fight back, staying up late and getting up early, and many other things.
I think you get what I'm trying to say at this point. I just don't get how teacher's becoming more educated on something could be wrong. Maybe I just don't get it because I'm a Marine's wife and I grew up in rural Ohio. A large percentage of the military population comes from Ohio (if you didn't know). Why? Because there isn't much else industry wise and as farming is dying out people are seeing the military as a way to pay for college, have a steady job, and/or get out of Ohio. As a sidenote, I think I may be checking into this oppurtunity to see another side of the Marine Corps. I think it would be super cool to spend a week there "playing a recruit." My husband would probably laugh at me and say I had it easy. We both know he's right. They may be giving educators an inside look at bootcamp, but only those who have survived to become Marines know the reality of bootcamp and I love them for it.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Longest Day & Love
I have been thoroughly enjoying the fact that my husband has finally come home from deployment and in fact have been too busy, until now, to write about the actual homecoming. Dave was scheduled to come home Jan 30th. I took the day off from school because he was supposed to get home around noon, which Marine Corps time is like 1, but still worth taking off the day from school. Our friend Amanda, whose boyfriend "Doc Rob" was deployed as well, had come the night before to stay so we could count down the hours until our guys got off the boat. Our morning starts off okay. We're up and getting ready so we can head to base around 11am or so just to be sure we get there in time to see our guys. We get our first phone call to tell us they have been delayed due to some high waves. They'll be at least two hours late. Ok, that puts us at 2 pm (really probably 3 or 4 USMC time). We're getting ready to think about leaving a second time when we get another call...it's looking like 5-7pm. Ok, rather annoying because I probably could have gone to work and had something to keep me busy all day. Then the last call comes in...9pm. What?! So we leave the house to find something to do because at this point it's only 2pm or so and we still have several hours left to wait. (Remember, if they had come in on time we would have already been reunited with our boys by this time...we're not thrilled.) We go to Target, we go eat some ice cream from Coldstone, and we meet up with my teacher friend Anna who says..."go to the school and do your sub plans for tomorrow, just take the day." So we go to the school to do my sub plans, which I doubt I'm going to use. Right as we are leaving the school I get another call that says they'll be in around 8pm. So we leave to get back to the house and to retrieve our "Welcome Home" stuff and go to base.
I should mention at this point that I spent the night before cooking and baking for "my boys". I knew that "my boys" who are like my adopted children would not have family there to welcome them home. I decided they would need a home cooked meal and a few supplies. I bought towels, wash cloths, and travel size toiletry items for them. I also made lasagna and brownies and put them in "to go" gladware comtainers. Each of my boys received a "Welcome Home" bag of goodies to help them survive their first night back. It turned out to be a great thing I did this because after being up at the crack of dawn and then being delayed several times the boys were hungry by the time they ended up back on dry land.
Ok, so we get to the base and begin the final, "final countdown" until the time we are reunited with our guys. We get there at about 7pm. We finally see them get off the bus about8pm back at the armory. Which we know means more waiting while they turn in weapons, the single Marines need to receive their room keys, and they have to have their blood drawn to be sure they didn't pick up any disease while there. Finally, around 9pm we hear them coming (they march in formation to the "reunion area") and the excitement is high. Their formation stops just short of where the crowd was standing, trying to wait patiently. I immediately spot "Bivins" and go running towards him as soon as they were dismissed. Poor guy, I told him to look for the turtle poster I made and instead I attacked him. He said all he saw was this big turquoise blur coming at hime. I bear hugged him and then began sobbing, just a few quick sobs, and then I was smiling. I completely forgot about anyone else around me and was lost in the moment of "getting my arms around him." You know I was certainly excited because I ran right into a big mud puddle...in my nice jeans and dressy shoes...I hate dirt/mud! Then we grabbed his bags, helped the other guys locate their bags, and we finally left the base around 10pm. I ended up taking the next day off from school. I needed a day to spend with my husband. It was a very long day for both of us and we were happy to be back with each other.
My in-laws came the first weekend of Feb to spend some time with their son. We had a great time going to the beach, going to the shooting range, and eating good home-cooked food. They left on Tuesday morning and we have been slowly trying to get back into some sort of routine. Dave has been on leave so he hasn't had to work, at least not for the USMC. I left him a list of chores each day that he needed to do. (His seabags had been located in the living room for a week at this point, partially unpacked...HUGE mess in an already small living room.)
This past weekend we were supposed to have our DC friends come visit, "The Martins", but traffic out of the city was worse than normal and they ended up not coming. It turned out alright though because we have spent a lot of quality "Wizzel-Bivins" time, which has been much needed. Today is the three year anniversary of the "Airport Rendezvous Weekend". We celebrate this day instead of Valentine's day for a few reasons. #1 I'm not big on Valentine's day because I don't think you need to prove your love by spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that has had its' price inflated for this one day. #2 It's a day for flower shops, restaurants, jewely stores, and card stores to make a lot of money and they're super crowded. #3 The first year we were "talking on the phone" (dating) we couldn't be together for V-day, but I flew to DC for President's Day wknd because we could have some extra time since he had an extra day off work. The night of my arrival was the 18th because I flew out on a Friday afternoon. It was the first time we would see each other since we started talking (we had supposedly met before at Bootcamp graduation, but don't remember this very well). We both knew this weekend would be "make it or break it" time for our relationship, but were confident that it would cement the fact that we were serious about each other. We gave each other a huge hug at the airport and that was the beginning of the weekend that would alter our lives in ways we couldn't have imagined. Today we are celebrating three years together since that crazy, wonderful weekend. We're being lazy, staying in our pj's, watching movies and listening to the rain outside. We plan to get "dolled up" and go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant here in J-ville, Duck's. We're in Love, yeah it's great.
I should mention at this point that I spent the night before cooking and baking for "my boys". I knew that "my boys" who are like my adopted children would not have family there to welcome them home. I decided they would need a home cooked meal and a few supplies. I bought towels, wash cloths, and travel size toiletry items for them. I also made lasagna and brownies and put them in "to go" gladware comtainers. Each of my boys received a "Welcome Home" bag of goodies to help them survive their first night back. It turned out to be a great thing I did this because after being up at the crack of dawn and then being delayed several times the boys were hungry by the time they ended up back on dry land.
Ok, so we get to the base and begin the final, "final countdown" until the time we are reunited with our guys. We get there at about 7pm. We finally see them get off the bus about8pm back at the armory. Which we know means more waiting while they turn in weapons, the single Marines need to receive their room keys, and they have to have their blood drawn to be sure they didn't pick up any disease while there. Finally, around 9pm we hear them coming (they march in formation to the "reunion area") and the excitement is high. Their formation stops just short of where the crowd was standing, trying to wait patiently. I immediately spot "Bivins" and go running towards him as soon as they were dismissed. Poor guy, I told him to look for the turtle poster I made and instead I attacked him. He said all he saw was this big turquoise blur coming at hime. I bear hugged him and then began sobbing, just a few quick sobs, and then I was smiling. I completely forgot about anyone else around me and was lost in the moment of "getting my arms around him." You know I was certainly excited because I ran right into a big mud puddle...in my nice jeans and dressy shoes...I hate dirt/mud! Then we grabbed his bags, helped the other guys locate their bags, and we finally left the base around 10pm. I ended up taking the next day off from school. I needed a day to spend with my husband. It was a very long day for both of us and we were happy to be back with each other.
My in-laws came the first weekend of Feb to spend some time with their son. We had a great time going to the beach, going to the shooting range, and eating good home-cooked food. They left on Tuesday morning and we have been slowly trying to get back into some sort of routine. Dave has been on leave so he hasn't had to work, at least not for the USMC. I left him a list of chores each day that he needed to do. (His seabags had been located in the living room for a week at this point, partially unpacked...HUGE mess in an already small living room.)
This past weekend we were supposed to have our DC friends come visit, "The Martins", but traffic out of the city was worse than normal and they ended up not coming. It turned out alright though because we have spent a lot of quality "Wizzel-Bivins" time, which has been much needed. Today is the three year anniversary of the "Airport Rendezvous Weekend". We celebrate this day instead of Valentine's day for a few reasons. #1 I'm not big on Valentine's day because I don't think you need to prove your love by spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that has had its' price inflated for this one day. #2 It's a day for flower shops, restaurants, jewely stores, and card stores to make a lot of money and they're super crowded. #3 The first year we were "talking on the phone" (dating) we couldn't be together for V-day, but I flew to DC for President's Day wknd because we could have some extra time since he had an extra day off work. The night of my arrival was the 18th because I flew out on a Friday afternoon. It was the first time we would see each other since we started talking (we had supposedly met before at Bootcamp graduation, but don't remember this very well). We both knew this weekend would be "make it or break it" time for our relationship, but were confident that it would cement the fact that we were serious about each other. We gave each other a huge hug at the airport and that was the beginning of the weekend that would alter our lives in ways we couldn't have imagined. Today we are celebrating three years together since that crazy, wonderful weekend. We're being lazy, staying in our pj's, watching movies and listening to the rain outside. We plan to get "dolled up" and go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant here in J-ville, Duck's. We're in Love, yeah it's great.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Adventures Never End
I had every intention of having a nice, quiet weekend...my last as a "single" wife. My teacher friend Anna and I had our Friday night date planned, which usually consists of going to the commisary (that's a grocery store on base) and then getting dinner and watching tv. We started our date night just fine. Went to the commisary and had no problems. We ordered chinese food on the way home. We got to Anna's house and she asks "do you remember me grabbing my keys?" Nope, sure don't. We were locked out. Well, her neighbor has a key to her house, but Jake was on his way to Wilmington to get his wife from the airport. Ok, no problem still. We call and drive to meet him to get the key to his house so we can get Anna's key. We're on our way back to get our chinese food and my car doesn't sound quite right. We stop to get the chinese food and when Anna returns to my car it sounds pretty bad. We start to go and we hear a grinding noise. Grinding noises are never good. We decide to keep driving because we really aren't far from her house and what else could we really do? We're about a 1/2 mile from her house, driving down the road and we hear "chink" as something falls from my car and hits the pavement. My heart sinks and I'm thinking..."Oh hell what do we do now?" We keep driving because we are close enough to Anna's house that I'm pretty sure we can make it there. And if we can't then we can get close enough to walk to her house and figure out what to do next. So I go to turn onto her road and I have to use all my might to turn the wheel. I have NO power steering. Not good. We finally make it to her house and by now the battery light is on and my car temp has shot up and the hood is steaming. I'm thinking the worst that the engine is quitting, the transmission, or that I did some stupid girl move and forgot to do some scheduled maintenance or something and have ruined my car. Anna and I unload the groceries and go inside to eat our chinese food. A bit later we call Jake to ask him some questions about what it could be. He sends us out to look under the hood. We looked and the serpentine belt was loose. Jake thinks it has to be something with the belt and nothing more. Anna and I then check all the fluids and are poking our heads around trying to figure out if we can see anything else that might be wrong. We even take a pic of us with my camera and our heads under the hood. I had just pulled the camera out from under the hood and BOOM! The hood slams shut. Anna is like "OMG, that could have been my head! It's time to go inside now." Jake comes home, he's the friendly neighborhood mechanic, and looks at my car. He determines it just needs an idler pulley. Apparently that is what hit the ground because it is totally gone. It shouldn't be too expensive to fix, which is good because when you hear part of your car hit the ground you instantly think "please don't let me die and how much is this going to cost me?" It rained all day so no fix today, but hopefully tomorrow we'll get it back in working order. I seem to have not so good luck with my vehicles. I think I better move back to "the big city" where I can take public transportation a lot. I will never forget the sound of something falling from my car and hitting the pavement as I'm driving. Thank God it happened just as it did though because this could have ended in a totally different way. I could have been stranded or hurt or left to figure out what was wrong all on my own.
Please can we just get my husband home asap before I have to suffer through any more adventures? It won't be too much longer at this point, but still. An interesting side note: He had called while I was driving to the chinese restaurant and had just hung up the phone with him when the trouble started. Thank goodness he wasn't on the phone as I heard my car go "chink" cause I can only imagine what he would have thought or heard. Poor guy would have been left on the boat wondering what the heck happened. Only a couple more days. I am SO excited to have my husband back home. I'll probably follow him everywhere that first day.
Please can we just get my husband home asap before I have to suffer through any more adventures? It won't be too much longer at this point, but still. An interesting side note: He had called while I was driving to the chinese restaurant and had just hung up the phone with him when the trouble started. Thank goodness he wasn't on the phone as I heard my car go "chink" cause I can only imagine what he would have thought or heard. Poor guy would have been left on the boat wondering what the heck happened. Only a couple more days. I am SO excited to have my husband back home. I'll probably follow him everywhere that first day.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Almost the End!
I'll start with a family update. My Pap seems to be doing much better. His second surgery he ended up having a blood clot that caused the issue. They put him on meds and my Nana and Pap are hopefully enjoying their winter in Florida. So family stress is gone at this point.
I am trying to wait patiently for these last few days of the deployment to end. I have plans this evening for my last "Friday Night Date" with Anna, another teacher friend whose husband is also deployed. I think we are going to put together bookshelves! I'll be joining her for a few more dates before her husband is home, but she may have to endure hanging out with some of "the boys" as well. Saturday plans are up in the air at the moment. May head to Wilmington, may not. Sunday is a day of rest, yeah right! I'll be doing last minute cleaning, lesson plans, and bathing the cats. They're getting kind of stinky since their last bath before Christmas. They're boys, I should expect that by now. Then another week of teaching begins. Most likely I will be missing a day to pick up my husband!!!! Woooohooooo! I am more than ready to say goodbye to being a single wife. I really can tell the end is in sight because when my husband called this morning to ask a few more questions from his "list." I wasn't excited, I was annoyed. It was good to hear his voice, but I'm like....can this not wait x amount of days til you get home? Silly man needs more to do than sit on a ship in the middle of the ocean with time to think. His wife is at home with many other tasks to fill her days. I predict a grumpy Wizzel next week 'cause I probably won't get much sleep when he gets home. He'll be all rested and ready to run all over town and then I'm used to sleeping all by my lonesome...he's noisy. I didn't sleep well when we first moved in together...not for at least two months. Oh well, I sound all doom and gloom, but I really an excited and happy. I promise I am. :)
I am trying to wait patiently for these last few days of the deployment to end. I have plans this evening for my last "Friday Night Date" with Anna, another teacher friend whose husband is also deployed. I think we are going to put together bookshelves! I'll be joining her for a few more dates before her husband is home, but she may have to endure hanging out with some of "the boys" as well. Saturday plans are up in the air at the moment. May head to Wilmington, may not. Sunday is a day of rest, yeah right! I'll be doing last minute cleaning, lesson plans, and bathing the cats. They're getting kind of stinky since their last bath before Christmas. They're boys, I should expect that by now. Then another week of teaching begins. Most likely I will be missing a day to pick up my husband!!!! Woooohooooo! I am more than ready to say goodbye to being a single wife. I really can tell the end is in sight because when my husband called this morning to ask a few more questions from his "list." I wasn't excited, I was annoyed. It was good to hear his voice, but I'm like....can this not wait x amount of days til you get home? Silly man needs more to do than sit on a ship in the middle of the ocean with time to think. His wife is at home with many other tasks to fill her days. I predict a grumpy Wizzel next week 'cause I probably won't get much sleep when he gets home. He'll be all rested and ready to run all over town and then I'm used to sleeping all by my lonesome...he's noisy. I didn't sleep well when we first moved in together...not for at least two months. Oh well, I sound all doom and gloom, but I really an excited and happy. I promise I am. :)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Choices, Coming Home, & Family
There are several things that have happened since my last post. I hadn't realized that I haven't written since November. The month of December flew by so fast. I'm thankful for that, but it made me a very tired Wizzel.
The first thing on my mind is how much Jacksonville, NC has been in the news as well as the Marine Corps in relation to the murder of a female marine. If you don't know about it, turn on CNN or google it. I guarantee you will find much more information than you really ever thought you needed to know. I won't give much of an opinion on this case other than the fact that there is still so much we just don't know/aren't being told at this time. I agree with Onslow County Sheriff who stated that the ending to this story would be bizarre. Personally, I think the wife of the accused knows a lot more than she is telling and was pretty involved in this somehow. Some say the Marine Corps was in the wrong in their actions and I won't agree or disagree on that. The Marine Corps has a way of releasing information on a need to know basis. Those who need to know do and those (the general public) who don't need to know everything right now don't. I respect and admire Marines for just simply doing there job, because as a wife of a Marine I know some of what it really takes for a Marine to do their job. I also will say that everything both good and bad that I have ever heard said about Marines is true. It's not all true for every Marine, but there is a Marine that falls into each category. It doesn't change my respect for them, or the love I have to those Marines that I hold very dear in my heart.
In relation to this newsworthy turn of events I have heard rumors that the Westboro Baptist Church will be coming to hold a protest here in Jacksonville to show us just how "godless and lawless" Marines and those who love them really are. If you don't know who the WBC is they are the rather small group of radicals that go around protesting fallen warriors funerals, anything homosexual, and pretty much anything else they deem "godless". (I'm purposefully using a lowercase G for godless because the God I know doesn't discriminate amongst his people.) If you would like to view further info their website is www.godhatesfags.com I'm left feeling a mixture of emotions at this turn of events. I know I'm supposed to love my neighbor, but I'm finding it very hard to even think about being remotely respectful to these people if they choose to come to this city. They are more than unwelcome in this town, at least from the consensus I've heard. My first reaction was to be part of a planned counter protest...and then I thought about it a minute longer. I think it would be wise for me to stay far, far away from these people. I'm never sure what radicals will do and I know any Marine or Marine supporter that comes into contact with these people will have a lot to say to them. I'm afraid that if there is a confrontation it will only add to the WBC publicity and the fact that we are supposedly godless. The Marine Corps has passed along a letter stating that Marines should avoid these people and recommending that the wives stay away as well. There has been some uproar with some wives about the Marine Corps not having a right to recommend this because their husband signed the contract, not them. While I as a wife did not sign a contract with the Marine Corps, I did sign a marraige license with a man who has. As a wife it is my job to support him in what he does and respect his career choices. If that means staying away from a protest, even if I really had wanted to go, I would in order for him to be free from reprimand. I am subject to altered "rules" as a result of my marraige to him. It isn't so very different from a civilian standpoint. My husband is subjected to different rules as a result of marrying a teacher. As a teacher I am placed in the spotlight as a role model to students. While that image has evolved greatly the last few years there are still many things I choose not to do and ask that my husband not do in order to be that role model for my students. I don't want to be a teacher of questionable character. I dont' want to be the wife of a Marine with questionable loyalty either. I'm hoping that our wintry weather forecast will keep these radicals at bay this weekend and by next weekend they will have moved on to some other issue.
The next thing I have been planning and preparing for is my husband's homecoming. He should be home by Super Bowl Sunday. I have been working on homecoming banners, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries to make his favorite foods, and many other things. I can't believe the end of this deployment is so close. There were times when I never felt like it would ever end and other times that I have felt like time has flown by. I've managed to keep busy with the help of the other wives, some very special friends, and my students. The months and weeks of counting are almost done and he will be back home with me where he belongs. We end our phone calls with the question "where are we going?" (for our date in our dreams) and I said this last time "home" and he asked "where is home...DC...AL...NC...?" and I replied that "home is with me, I'm in NC so you're coming here." It made me start thinking back to when I realized that home was really a feeling and people, not a place or a building. I discovered that shortly after my parents divorce. I had lived in one house for the majority of my life (it was the only house I remembered) and the time came to move out of it after the divorce. I was heartbroken. It was my "safe place" to at least feel ok when the rest of my world as I knew it was falling down around my ears. It took awhile, but I eventually came to realize that as long as I had the people I loved around me then I was always "home." When I moved in with Dave in DC I was home. Even though I was so far from the rest of my family and friends, home was with him. It's probably the one reason I have been able to survive moving so many times already in life. I've lived in countless places at this point and it takes me a minute to think up my address and home phone number. In my defense I've had a new address almost every year for the past 5 years. Between moving from northern Ohio to southern Ohio, moving around the OU campus, and then moving to DC (for a whole 9 months) and then to NC my brain is now having trouble remembering what the current one is sometimes. Anyhow, I digress, the point is Dave will be home soon and I can hardly wait. I've been waiting for a very long time now for a healing hug from him and boy do I need one right about now...
The last part of the title is family and mine is making me crazy towards the end of this dpeloyment. The deployment started with Dave's shoulder issue and he may need surgery upon his return to dry land. Probably should have had it instead of deploy, but he didn't and the deployment is almost over now anyhow. Then fast forward several months to my Pap. He had a heart catheterization on my birthday where they put in five stints. A week later he decides they are going to Florida for their annual 3 month stay and starts driving. He gets to SC and has chest pains, they end up doing another surgery, and he is ok at this point. I think this has caused the most stress because my Pap is the rock in our family. He is a man of few words, but the ones he does say are wise and well chosen. He is a man I respect. And after talking with my sister I realized that the two of us do not use our father, like most women, as the "perfect man" that any future mate is measured...we compare them to Pap instead. When my dad called to wish me Happy Birthday I barely let him get the phrase out before I asked if he had heard anything about Pap's first surgery. My other grandfather has been through a few heart surgeries several years ago, but for some reason Pap needing surgery was more worrisome to me. I guess it is because I feel like my Pap should be invicible. I know he really isn't, but I'm just not ready to think about him not being around. Then my mother in law had some scary health issues crop up the week after Pap's first heart surgery. Scary enough to throw our future plans in a tail spin. The health issues have since then been lessened and we're waiting on one more round of test results before we can breath a sigh of relief. Pap and my mother in law combined led to a stress meltdown for me. I was so stressed after talking to my husband that I couldn't sit still and I was shaking. I haven't been that stressed in a very long time. I can't even remember the last time I was in such a state. That's about the time I decided to purchase the elliptical machine from one of my teacher friends. Tonight is the first night since purchasing it that I haven't been "running" on it. I was just too cold and tired after this week to get on the darn hamster wheel. I'll be back on it tomorrow though.
So, that is only a portion of what has been going on lately. I'll be cleaning house tomorrow and staring at the calendar wishing I could fast forward the days just a bit. I need that hug and the comfort in knowing he's home. It won't be long now though...
The first thing on my mind is how much Jacksonville, NC has been in the news as well as the Marine Corps in relation to the murder of a female marine. If you don't know about it, turn on CNN or google it. I guarantee you will find much more information than you really ever thought you needed to know. I won't give much of an opinion on this case other than the fact that there is still so much we just don't know/aren't being told at this time. I agree with Onslow County Sheriff who stated that the ending to this story would be bizarre. Personally, I think the wife of the accused knows a lot more than she is telling and was pretty involved in this somehow. Some say the Marine Corps was in the wrong in their actions and I won't agree or disagree on that. The Marine Corps has a way of releasing information on a need to know basis. Those who need to know do and those (the general public) who don't need to know everything right now don't. I respect and admire Marines for just simply doing there job, because as a wife of a Marine I know some of what it really takes for a Marine to do their job. I also will say that everything both good and bad that I have ever heard said about Marines is true. It's not all true for every Marine, but there is a Marine that falls into each category. It doesn't change my respect for them, or the love I have to those Marines that I hold very dear in my heart.
In relation to this newsworthy turn of events I have heard rumors that the Westboro Baptist Church will be coming to hold a protest here in Jacksonville to show us just how "godless and lawless" Marines and those who love them really are. If you don't know who the WBC is they are the rather small group of radicals that go around protesting fallen warriors funerals, anything homosexual, and pretty much anything else they deem "godless". (I'm purposefully using a lowercase G for godless because the God I know doesn't discriminate amongst his people.) If you would like to view further info their website is www.godhatesfags.com I'm left feeling a mixture of emotions at this turn of events. I know I'm supposed to love my neighbor, but I'm finding it very hard to even think about being remotely respectful to these people if they choose to come to this city. They are more than unwelcome in this town, at least from the consensus I've heard. My first reaction was to be part of a planned counter protest...and then I thought about it a minute longer. I think it would be wise for me to stay far, far away from these people. I'm never sure what radicals will do and I know any Marine or Marine supporter that comes into contact with these people will have a lot to say to them. I'm afraid that if there is a confrontation it will only add to the WBC publicity and the fact that we are supposedly godless. The Marine Corps has passed along a letter stating that Marines should avoid these people and recommending that the wives stay away as well. There has been some uproar with some wives about the Marine Corps not having a right to recommend this because their husband signed the contract, not them. While I as a wife did not sign a contract with the Marine Corps, I did sign a marraige license with a man who has. As a wife it is my job to support him in what he does and respect his career choices. If that means staying away from a protest, even if I really had wanted to go, I would in order for him to be free from reprimand. I am subject to altered "rules" as a result of my marraige to him. It isn't so very different from a civilian standpoint. My husband is subjected to different rules as a result of marrying a teacher. As a teacher I am placed in the spotlight as a role model to students. While that image has evolved greatly the last few years there are still many things I choose not to do and ask that my husband not do in order to be that role model for my students. I don't want to be a teacher of questionable character. I dont' want to be the wife of a Marine with questionable loyalty either. I'm hoping that our wintry weather forecast will keep these radicals at bay this weekend and by next weekend they will have moved on to some other issue.
The next thing I have been planning and preparing for is my husband's homecoming. He should be home by Super Bowl Sunday. I have been working on homecoming banners, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries to make his favorite foods, and many other things. I can't believe the end of this deployment is so close. There were times when I never felt like it would ever end and other times that I have felt like time has flown by. I've managed to keep busy with the help of the other wives, some very special friends, and my students. The months and weeks of counting are almost done and he will be back home with me where he belongs. We end our phone calls with the question "where are we going?" (for our date in our dreams) and I said this last time "home" and he asked "where is home...DC...AL...NC...?" and I replied that "home is with me, I'm in NC so you're coming here." It made me start thinking back to when I realized that home was really a feeling and people, not a place or a building. I discovered that shortly after my parents divorce. I had lived in one house for the majority of my life (it was the only house I remembered) and the time came to move out of it after the divorce. I was heartbroken. It was my "safe place" to at least feel ok when the rest of my world as I knew it was falling down around my ears. It took awhile, but I eventually came to realize that as long as I had the people I loved around me then I was always "home." When I moved in with Dave in DC I was home. Even though I was so far from the rest of my family and friends, home was with him. It's probably the one reason I have been able to survive moving so many times already in life. I've lived in countless places at this point and it takes me a minute to think up my address and home phone number. In my defense I've had a new address almost every year for the past 5 years. Between moving from northern Ohio to southern Ohio, moving around the OU campus, and then moving to DC (for a whole 9 months) and then to NC my brain is now having trouble remembering what the current one is sometimes. Anyhow, I digress, the point is Dave will be home soon and I can hardly wait. I've been waiting for a very long time now for a healing hug from him and boy do I need one right about now...
The last part of the title is family and mine is making me crazy towards the end of this dpeloyment. The deployment started with Dave's shoulder issue and he may need surgery upon his return to dry land. Probably should have had it instead of deploy, but he didn't and the deployment is almost over now anyhow. Then fast forward several months to my Pap. He had a heart catheterization on my birthday where they put in five stints. A week later he decides they are going to Florida for their annual 3 month stay and starts driving. He gets to SC and has chest pains, they end up doing another surgery, and he is ok at this point. I think this has caused the most stress because my Pap is the rock in our family. He is a man of few words, but the ones he does say are wise and well chosen. He is a man I respect. And after talking with my sister I realized that the two of us do not use our father, like most women, as the "perfect man" that any future mate is measured...we compare them to Pap instead. When my dad called to wish me Happy Birthday I barely let him get the phrase out before I asked if he had heard anything about Pap's first surgery. My other grandfather has been through a few heart surgeries several years ago, but for some reason Pap needing surgery was more worrisome to me. I guess it is because I feel like my Pap should be invicible. I know he really isn't, but I'm just not ready to think about him not being around. Then my mother in law had some scary health issues crop up the week after Pap's first heart surgery. Scary enough to throw our future plans in a tail spin. The health issues have since then been lessened and we're waiting on one more round of test results before we can breath a sigh of relief. Pap and my mother in law combined led to a stress meltdown for me. I was so stressed after talking to my husband that I couldn't sit still and I was shaking. I haven't been that stressed in a very long time. I can't even remember the last time I was in such a state. That's about the time I decided to purchase the elliptical machine from one of my teacher friends. Tonight is the first night since purchasing it that I haven't been "running" on it. I was just too cold and tired after this week to get on the darn hamster wheel. I'll be back on it tomorrow though.
So, that is only a portion of what has been going on lately. I'll be cleaning house tomorrow and staring at the calendar wishing I could fast forward the days just a bit. I need that hug and the comfort in knowing he's home. It won't be long now though...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Randomness
There are many different concepts and ideas swirling around my head at the moment. The first one that has been going round all day is "how do you teach someone to think critically?" Essentially, that is the job of an English teacher when preparing students to continue on to other grades and prepare for the EOG (end of grade) test where they must show what they know. Last year's students did not have the basic skills needed to pass the test so the mission appeared much easier and clearer: Teach the basics! This year's students are a pretty good mixture of students who are meeting standards and students who are just below. I believe the key to helping both groups of students it to challenge them to think more critically. Which leads me back to the question of how to do this. I'm left trying to discern what my own teachers may have done to teach me those skills, research any possible ideas from my college days, and then look for other options online or in books. We'll see if I can manage it. I also think that my ability to think critically is something that grew and evolved as I did...so maybe I just need to get the ball rolling, I don't have to score the goal. Hmmmmm...
Another thing challenging me at the moment is the fact that someone finally told my car that Dave, aka Mr. Mechanic, is deployed. It all started the day I decided to wash my car inside and out. I went to start it the next day and it wouldn't. Well, the expensive stereo equipment drains the battery fast if there is an additional long term pull on the battery such as leaving the doors open. So, I charged the battery and it started just fine. Fast forward a few days to this morning when I went to leave for work. I turn the key and it won't start! Ugh!!! So I unload my five hundred bags (why I haul all of that junk back and forth every day I have NO idea) from my car to my friend Bynum's car so I can go to work. Luckily, I get to babysit Bynum's Mustang while he is gone and my job is to drive it. Well, today I did. I charged the battery tonight so we will see what happens tomorrow. Hopefully, I can get this mess solved by the end of the weekend. Not sure if it is the battery, the alternator, or something else not so fun. While I am capable of dealing with this situation and have done it several times prior with the car my sisters still drive it's like I told my mom..."I'm married, I shouldn't have to deal with this! Dave would tinker with it and figure it out if he were home." Hmmmm....again.
Last thing, Christmas is no fun. I have never really been a fan of Christmas (the secular parts anyhow). I never understood why I had to get up at the crack of dawn to open presents. If some fat man in a suit came down my imaginary chimney to deliver presents in the middle of the night those presents will be there whether I open them at 7am or noon. Then the 5 plus years in retail at Christmas time solidified the fact that I hate Christmas. Nit just dislike it, but outright hate it. Between crazy people looking for a specific gift that the store didn't have, to crazy mean people who chew you out because they are really just tired and irritated, to the horrid Christmas songs you hear on loop every hour or so, and then the extended shopping (working) hours. Not only did I have to deal with the working end, but the shopping end is even more irritable. I haven't figured out how I'm going to one day manage Christmas with children of my own...ugh it makes me tired and irritable just thinking about it. I'm thinking we'll be making up lots of new traditions and showing them that presents aren't everything...and they will NOT all be toys. Most likely they will include lots of books (hmmm, I wonder why?). This year is no exception to the hating of Christmas, although there was a fabulous Christmas two years ago with my mom, sisters, and Dave is Ohio which was the best Christmas ever. I think it was because we all had so much fun together. However, this year my silly husband is deployed and while I am looking forward to going home I just want it to be done and over with so I can hurry up and get through January to my husband's arrival back home. That is the single thought that floods through my mind day after day. Who knew I'd be so "dependent" on a man? Hmmmm...
Another thing challenging me at the moment is the fact that someone finally told my car that Dave, aka Mr. Mechanic, is deployed. It all started the day I decided to wash my car inside and out. I went to start it the next day and it wouldn't. Well, the expensive stereo equipment drains the battery fast if there is an additional long term pull on the battery such as leaving the doors open. So, I charged the battery and it started just fine. Fast forward a few days to this morning when I went to leave for work. I turn the key and it won't start! Ugh!!! So I unload my five hundred bags (why I haul all of that junk back and forth every day I have NO idea) from my car to my friend Bynum's car so I can go to work. Luckily, I get to babysit Bynum's Mustang while he is gone and my job is to drive it. Well, today I did. I charged the battery tonight so we will see what happens tomorrow. Hopefully, I can get this mess solved by the end of the weekend. Not sure if it is the battery, the alternator, or something else not so fun. While I am capable of dealing with this situation and have done it several times prior with the car my sisters still drive it's like I told my mom..."I'm married, I shouldn't have to deal with this! Dave would tinker with it and figure it out if he were home." Hmmmm....again.
Last thing, Christmas is no fun. I have never really been a fan of Christmas (the secular parts anyhow). I never understood why I had to get up at the crack of dawn to open presents. If some fat man in a suit came down my imaginary chimney to deliver presents in the middle of the night those presents will be there whether I open them at 7am or noon. Then the 5 plus years in retail at Christmas time solidified the fact that I hate Christmas. Nit just dislike it, but outright hate it. Between crazy people looking for a specific gift that the store didn't have, to crazy mean people who chew you out because they are really just tired and irritated, to the horrid Christmas songs you hear on loop every hour or so, and then the extended shopping (working) hours. Not only did I have to deal with the working end, but the shopping end is even more irritable. I haven't figured out how I'm going to one day manage Christmas with children of my own...ugh it makes me tired and irritable just thinking about it. I'm thinking we'll be making up lots of new traditions and showing them that presents aren't everything...and they will NOT all be toys. Most likely they will include lots of books (hmmm, I wonder why?). This year is no exception to the hating of Christmas, although there was a fabulous Christmas two years ago with my mom, sisters, and Dave is Ohio which was the best Christmas ever. I think it was because we all had so much fun together. However, this year my silly husband is deployed and while I am looking forward to going home I just want it to be done and over with so I can hurry up and get through January to my husband's arrival back home. That is the single thought that floods through my mind day after day. Who knew I'd be so "dependent" on a man? Hmmmm...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
The Birthday Shell-ebration
I received a phone call from Dave on his birthday at approx 4:45am. I was "with it" enough to say Happy Birthday as soon as I answered the phone. I asked all about his birthday. I said...have you received lots of turtles? Yes. How many would you say you have received...I dunno, a lot. I asked if Goodson decorated his bunk with the fun banner and banner I sent. Yes, there is confetti everywhere and Dave will be seeking his revenge on me. Knowing it was much later in his time zone I asked if he had a good birthday. He said it was as good as can be expected. I think that is pretty good then because it means my goal was accomplished. Thanks to everyone who received and sent a birthday turtle. Dave says he will seek revenge upon me for it, but I know deep down he loved the fact that his friends and family showed him some turtle love on his birthday.
Also, with the phone call it ended the big void of no communication from the one who has my heart. From what we know at this point there's about two months left to this deployment which has gone by surprisingly fast and surprisingly slow all at once. I am anxious to have my dear husband back home with me. I'm very set into my single wife pattern of socializing and ocuppying my time, but I still miss my husband tremendously. I never thought I would be this ok and this not ok with his absence. I think that last statement only makes sense if you've dealt with a deployment. Lucky for me I have been surrounded by a very special group of friends who are helping me pass the time and become people that are very near and dear to my heart. My family has grown just a bit larger during this deployment, which is nice since I'm missing so many other members of my adopted family.
An update on what Dave aka Turtle is doing. About two weeks ago or so he offically became a Shellback after crossing the equator. It is a traditional Navy ceremony when you cross the equator for the first time you go from being a nasty wog to becoming a shellback. I think that is the single most coolest (yeah terrible phrase for an English teacher) thing that has happenned this deployment to my Turtle. Also, keep him in your prayers as he and his fellow Marines and sailors help with the relief efforts in Bangladesh. I know they will be moving supplies to remote areas, but they may also be assisting in clean up efforts as well since they have a lot of manpower to offer. Which may mean that these Marines experience a lot in relation to the number of deaths that have been reported thus far. I'm glad they will be helping in the efforts though because I think it will help a lot of them feel like they at least did something useful on this deployment. They were getting tired of chasing pirates and playing cards on ship.
I think it's now my bedtime. I need to create lesson plans tomorrow and a rough guide of what December will look like in my classroom. I also have a closet that needs cleaning in my room. I have way too many things that I just do not need anymore. It is beyond time to get rid of them and make space for things that are hidden other places in our house. We'll see how it goes. I may just end up being lazy tomorrow...I really need to work though.
Also, with the phone call it ended the big void of no communication from the one who has my heart. From what we know at this point there's about two months left to this deployment which has gone by surprisingly fast and surprisingly slow all at once. I am anxious to have my dear husband back home with me. I'm very set into my single wife pattern of socializing and ocuppying my time, but I still miss my husband tremendously. I never thought I would be this ok and this not ok with his absence. I think that last statement only makes sense if you've dealt with a deployment. Lucky for me I have been surrounded by a very special group of friends who are helping me pass the time and become people that are very near and dear to my heart. My family has grown just a bit larger during this deployment, which is nice since I'm missing so many other members of my adopted family.
An update on what Dave aka Turtle is doing. About two weeks ago or so he offically became a Shellback after crossing the equator. It is a traditional Navy ceremony when you cross the equator for the first time you go from being a nasty wog to becoming a shellback. I think that is the single most coolest (yeah terrible phrase for an English teacher) thing that has happenned this deployment to my Turtle. Also, keep him in your prayers as he and his fellow Marines and sailors help with the relief efforts in Bangladesh. I know they will be moving supplies to remote areas, but they may also be assisting in clean up efforts as well since they have a lot of manpower to offer. Which may mean that these Marines experience a lot in relation to the number of deaths that have been reported thus far. I'm glad they will be helping in the efforts though because I think it will help a lot of them feel like they at least did something useful on this deployment. They were getting tired of chasing pirates and playing cards on ship.
I think it's now my bedtime. I need to create lesson plans tomorrow and a rough guide of what December will look like in my classroom. I also have a closet that needs cleaning in my room. I have way too many things that I just do not need anymore. It is beyond time to get rid of them and make space for things that are hidden other places in our house. We'll see how it goes. I may just end up being lazy tomorrow...I really need to work though.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Stories
I am an English teacher and one of the reasons I chose this subject is because I am a writer. I write to sort things out in my head. I have been writing a journal/diary for as long as I can remember. I was drawing pictures in books long before I could even write words. I love paper, pens, and words more than anything. (Which is also why I love books.) I remember going on field trips and being sent with spending money and strict instructions to "not buy paper or pens!" I have been journaling the story of my life for years. When I met Dave "my story" turned into "our story" and I have been collecting items to put into a scrapbook ever since. I have a whole drawer full of things to scrapbook with in the spare room. I have been collecting these things and purchasing scrapbook items for the past three years. About a week ago I finally pulled the items from the drawer and created a mess on my living room floor and on my kitchen table. Thank goodness I don't have children yet because by the time I drug it out I was tired and only did one page. I completed another page this past week and am fixing to work on some more pages tonight. (Oh my, I really have been kidnapped by the South I just wrote "fixing to.") I hope to have this completed by Christmas so I can take it home and show it off. My only problem is narrowing down which small stories to include in "our story." I keep thinking of more things to include and I haven't even done the ones from the original list yet. I still have a month or so to do this, but I also have school stuff (lesson plans, papers to grade, etc), and Christmas shopping and cards as well.
I also had a revelation earlier this week. I was reading a list of 232 Reasons to Love the Marine Corps and laughing at over half of them because of the experiences and stories I've had when I realized a very important thing. I am going to really miss the Marine Corps. I may be just as "displaced" as my husband is when our time in the Marine Corps os over. I will miss going on base and seeing Marines. I will miss having "my boys" all together and over to our house for dinner. I will miss hearing silly stories from the field and deployment. I will miss watching my husband proudly put on his cammies or blues and go off to do his job. I know there will be other things to fill the void left from the Corps, but I know it won't be the same. I know from the stories written from retired and Marines who are no longer active duty. (There's no such thing as an ex-Marine.) Life without the Corps just isn't the same and while I'm looking forward to it, I'm also a bit sad. Shhh...don't tell Dave.
Good News: Only about 2 more months of being a single wife! (I know it sounds crazy, but you know what I mean.) My husband will be home soon!!!! Thank God! No really, I mean it, thanks to God that time is passing quickly and I am surviving.
I also had a revelation earlier this week. I was reading a list of 232 Reasons to Love the Marine Corps and laughing at over half of them because of the experiences and stories I've had when I realized a very important thing. I am going to really miss the Marine Corps. I may be just as "displaced" as my husband is when our time in the Marine Corps os over. I will miss going on base and seeing Marines. I will miss having "my boys" all together and over to our house for dinner. I will miss hearing silly stories from the field and deployment. I will miss watching my husband proudly put on his cammies or blues and go off to do his job. I know there will be other things to fill the void left from the Corps, but I know it won't be the same. I know from the stories written from retired and Marines who are no longer active duty. (There's no such thing as an ex-Marine.) Life without the Corps just isn't the same and while I'm looking forward to it, I'm also a bit sad. Shhh...don't tell Dave.
Good News: Only about 2 more months of being a single wife! (I know it sounds crazy, but you know what I mean.) My husband will be home soon!!!! Thank God! No really, I mean it, thanks to God that time is passing quickly and I am surviving.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
God is Going to Smite Me
Ok, so in Jacksonville on Sunday afternoons there are a group of what I call "Jesus People" that gather with their signs and stand at one of the main intersections in town. I can't recall any specifics about the signs other than that they are preaching about being saved. It's a nice advertising concept, but super annoying (to me anyhow). Then they proceed to "shout" at you. Whenever I see them I have the urge to hit them with my car, not very christianlike at all. Well, I was on my way to a friend's house today to meet up for an afternoon of shopping when I was stopped at a red light at the infamous intersection. The "Jesus People" were out in full force. I had AC/DC's "Back in Black" blaring on the radio when the devil made me do it (ok, so I really just felt like it) and I switched it to "Highway to Hell" and turned the volume up just a little bit louder. (I have an awesome stereo system totally on accident, it was there when I bought the vehicle and I refuse to give it up.) As I turned the corner I totally felt like God was going to smite for this action someday. I'm sure the "Jesus People" have good intentions and are perfectly nice people, but they really make me want to hit them with my car by preaching from the street corner.
As a side note I totally should have been an 80's girl with my love for AC/DC and big, curly hair.
As a side note I totally should have been an 80's girl with my love for AC/DC and big, curly hair.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Marine Corps Land
Marine Corps Land is where I live, sadly...and gladly too. I call it Marine Corps Land because it feels like I live in the Marine Corps version of Monopoly. Everywhere I go I am surrounded by Marines and Marine Wives and Marine kids...and well...the list goes on from there, but I don't want to bore you. Some days it isn't so bad living here and other days I feel like I'd rather live anywhere but here. Those "other" days tend to be weekends, especially payday weekends. Marine Corps Land on payday is hellish. You can't go anywhere quickly and heaven forbid you need to shop because it will take 5 times as long as it should, you'll see children out who should be home napping or in bed for the night, and you will be ogled by every single Marine you pass. Now, if you were ogled by every single Marine that you passed and you were dressed up (or at least somewhat dressed nicely for a day out) no problem, but when you can roll out of bed and go to Wal-Mart and have Marines look at you like you're not wearing anything...it tends to feel creepy. Not to mention the stupid boots that are out in town on weekends. Ugh. (For you non-military "boots" are those young pups fresh out of boot camp that still think high school was really the life...and talk about it with their buddies nonstop.) I have been forced to listen in on way too many stupid boot conversations while waiting in line somewhere. I've also been forced to witness stupid boot antics in public where they show off just how stupid they are by doing strange things. Then you have the opposite end of the spectrum...the Marines who think they are all that and more that really look like jerks (I'm sorry, I've become very good at picking out guys that are jerks...I've had lots of first hand experience in dealing with them so it's only natural I guess). It makes me want to punch them. I made a "quick" trip to Wal-Mart this evening to get snaps to fix my $15 Ann Taylor Loft jeans and left completely mad at anyone Marine. It's probably just another symptom of my week. I've been in a bad mood this week. Everything pisses me off. Each day I get a little madder about nothing in particular. It's probably because I haven't talked to Dave in over a week so I'm really missing him and frustrated. Hopefully he calls this weekend so I can get happy again. I know he'll call when he can because he misses me just as much as I miss him, but my patience is waning a bit. I go to sleep each night praying my sleep is interrupted by a call from him. So...I'll now head off to bed an pray that I'm rudely awakened by a ringing cell phone.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Waiting
I have spent a lot of time in my life waiting. Waiting to graduate high school, waiting to finish college, waiting to find a teaching job, waiting to move in with my husband, waiting to move to North Carolina, waiting for him to deploy, waiting for him to return, and waiting to live the rest of "our lives" together. As a military wife there are so many things that you "hurry up and wait" to happen. We are halfway through this deployment, but at times it feels like it is so far from being over. I'm ready for him to be home with me where he belongs. I'm ready to spend days cuddled together on the couch watching the silly stupid movies he makes me watch. I'm ready to come home from a day at work and him offer to cook dinner. I'm ready for a hug. I'd give anything for one of his hugs right now. I know that with the holidays approaching time will go by much quicker because we'll have days off from school so time passes even more quickly, but I wish it would just fly by. Only two months and I will be in Ohio for Christmas. I'm really looking forward to that. I'm ready for Mom and sister time. I don't think I truly realized just how much I do miss them until I went home for two weeks right after Dave left. I had tons of girl time and it was wonderful after spending so much time with the boys. I'm really ready for boy time again too. I'm ready for my house to be filled with Marines and their silly, goofy antics. They make me laugh so much. I get to see them in the videos Dave sent, but it just isn't the same to be on the other side of the action. Usually it's me taping their antics and laughing hysterically in the background. They'll be home soon...sooner than when they left anyhow.
On a different note I keep randomly searching for jobs in the DC area since I'm leaning more towards living there. The decision is in Dave's hands, but it can't hurt to get an idea of what kind of jobs are there. I love teaching, but I hate all the "stuff" that goes with it...like the meetings, the politics, and the parents. Plus, I hate having twice as much work to do at home as I do at school. I know a teacher has great working hours, but what about all the stuff required outside the classroom? I keep checking the Library of Congress website to see if they have anything I might enjoy. Occassionally something will catch my eye, but nothing that strikes me as the job for me. I did some random searches in classifieds though and found a job titled English Language Arts Tes Development Assistant and you can read the job description here http://jobs-airdc.icims.com/airdc_jobs/jobs/candidate/job.jsp?jobid=5316&mode=view
It looks like something I would enjoy. It's related to teaching, but not in the classroom with all the extra work. It may turn out to be a glorified gopher position, but it still sounds like fun. I know I'm not even close to being ready to accepting a new job at the moment although this one looks like fun. Guess I'll just have to keep checking to see what I find the closer the time comes to move.
So for now I'm still waiting. Waiting for time to pass, waiting for the holidays to come and go, waiting for my Love to return, and waiting to see where life will take us. In the meantime I'm still enertaining myself with random activities. I had my hair dyed today...I'll post a pic when I get a chance to take a good one. I went to a pumpkin patch with friends, I'm cleaning my house, I'm grading the neverending stack of papers, I'm going to a hockey game, and lots of other things.
On a different note I keep randomly searching for jobs in the DC area since I'm leaning more towards living there. The decision is in Dave's hands, but it can't hurt to get an idea of what kind of jobs are there. I love teaching, but I hate all the "stuff" that goes with it...like the meetings, the politics, and the parents. Plus, I hate having twice as much work to do at home as I do at school. I know a teacher has great working hours, but what about all the stuff required outside the classroom? I keep checking the Library of Congress website to see if they have anything I might enjoy. Occassionally something will catch my eye, but nothing that strikes me as the job for me. I did some random searches in classifieds though and found a job titled English Language Arts Tes Development Assistant and you can read the job description here http://jobs-airdc.icims.com/airdc_jobs/jobs/candidate/job.jsp?jobid=5316&mode=view
It looks like something I would enjoy. It's related to teaching, but not in the classroom with all the extra work. It may turn out to be a glorified gopher position, but it still sounds like fun. I know I'm not even close to being ready to accepting a new job at the moment although this one looks like fun. Guess I'll just have to keep checking to see what I find the closer the time comes to move.
So for now I'm still waiting. Waiting for time to pass, waiting for the holidays to come and go, waiting for my Love to return, and waiting to see where life will take us. In the meantime I'm still enertaining myself with random activities. I had my hair dyed today...I'll post a pic when I get a chance to take a good one. I went to a pumpkin patch with friends, I'm cleaning my house, I'm grading the neverending stack of papers, I'm going to a hockey game, and lots of other things.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Turning Points & Decisions
I've been thinking a lot today about what will be happening in a few months. Dave is reaching the end of his active duty portion of his enlistment. This means we are faced with first the decision to re-enlist or not to re-enlist? Re-enlistment is an almost certainty that he will deploy at least one more time and possibly four more times. We both are not liking the deployment, but we're surviving. I don't think anyone really likes deployment though. I also know that part of my husband deep down truly loves being a Marine. His wife, deep down, enjoys and is proud to be a Marine's husband. However, I was kind of looking forward to a life not governed by the Corps. I would love to have a "normal" life, but I know that there really is no such thing as normal. The husband says he doesn't want to re-enlist, but that doesn't keep me from wondering why he doesn't want to re-enlist. Is it that he really doesn't want to be an active duty Marine any longer...or is it because his wife has been so vocal about dreading the possibilityy of another deployment? So, that's the first question...EAS (expiration of active service for those non-USMC readers) or not to EAS and why.
If the answer to the first question is not to re-enlist then we come to the next question...DC area or AL area? We both love both places, but are struggling to figure out which one would be the best for us. Ok...DC area pros...we have already lived there once and were having a great time there by the time we had to move. We both miss it like crazy and try to visit our friends there as much as we can. My dream job would be to work at the Library of Congress. Why? Deep down I want to be a librarian, I love teaching...but my fascination is really with books and those who are readers of books. If we move to the DC area I could potentially work at the LOC. We also have some connections with possible jobs for my husband. Connections to decent paying jobs at that. The drawbacks to the DC area is that it is so expensive to live there and it is far from his parents/family. We would love to live in the South (especially me who hates the cold winters) and would like to be near family. Another pro would be the probability that we both would be able to go to school there. The husband can get his bachelor's and I can get my master's. Education is a good thing. We also have some friends already there that we would have a ball hanging out with on a regular basis again. (Shout out to the Martins and the Abbotts!)
The pros to AL would be that we would be near his family (although miles from mine...) and his friends from childhood. We would also have some job connections there as well...just not so sure it is the right direction for us right now. I'm worried that we might end up getting in a rut there (if that makes any sense at all). I would love to be a resident of the south still. The warm weather, while stifling at times, is sooooo much better than the bitter cold and icy, snowy, slushy mess of northern winters. I'll take the heat any day, I despise being cold. Dave would be home close to his dad and they could do guy stuff. I know they both would love it. I think education would be harder for Dave in AL. I have no real reasons I can form into words at the moment, just a gut feeling. I think a master's for me would be harder as well there. Possibly not, but I'm just thinking it would be. I think we may put off having children a lot longer if we lived in AL as well (which doesn't make sense either, but eh...).
This is a turning point in our lives and I feel like whatever decision is made will affect us for the rest of our lives. The questions is will it affect us positively or negatively? Anyone who knows me knows I am indecisive to say the least. I can make split second decisions in emergency situations and everyday in class...but where to eat dinner, what car to buy, and what to do at this point in life...I don't like decisions like that. I also recognize that really it is a decision my husband needs to make. It will be him either being a Marine for another 4 years or living wherever. In both AL and DC we will be away from my family, no surprise there...jobs in Ohio for teachers (or librarians) don't really exist. Although in DC we would probably make some weekend trips if we could afford it. Another crazy thing for this "independent" woman to say is that he's the head of our household, God says so. I know Dave will take my thoughts and feelings into consideration, but I really feel like this is a choice he needs to be the one to make. If he doesn't and I try to make it for us...I feel like it could drive a wedge between us. Maybe not right away, but further on down the line. I suppose only time will tell what lies in store for us and out future...I'm just going to have to leave it in capable male hands for now.
If the answer to the first question is not to re-enlist then we come to the next question...DC area or AL area? We both love both places, but are struggling to figure out which one would be the best for us. Ok...DC area pros...we have already lived there once and were having a great time there by the time we had to move. We both miss it like crazy and try to visit our friends there as much as we can. My dream job would be to work at the Library of Congress. Why? Deep down I want to be a librarian, I love teaching...but my fascination is really with books and those who are readers of books. If we move to the DC area I could potentially work at the LOC. We also have some connections with possible jobs for my husband. Connections to decent paying jobs at that. The drawbacks to the DC area is that it is so expensive to live there and it is far from his parents/family. We would love to live in the South (especially me who hates the cold winters) and would like to be near family. Another pro would be the probability that we both would be able to go to school there. The husband can get his bachelor's and I can get my master's. Education is a good thing. We also have some friends already there that we would have a ball hanging out with on a regular basis again. (Shout out to the Martins and the Abbotts!)
The pros to AL would be that we would be near his family (although miles from mine...) and his friends from childhood. We would also have some job connections there as well...just not so sure it is the right direction for us right now. I'm worried that we might end up getting in a rut there (if that makes any sense at all). I would love to be a resident of the south still. The warm weather, while stifling at times, is sooooo much better than the bitter cold and icy, snowy, slushy mess of northern winters. I'll take the heat any day, I despise being cold. Dave would be home close to his dad and they could do guy stuff. I know they both would love it. I think education would be harder for Dave in AL. I have no real reasons I can form into words at the moment, just a gut feeling. I think a master's for me would be harder as well there. Possibly not, but I'm just thinking it would be. I think we may put off having children a lot longer if we lived in AL as well (which doesn't make sense either, but eh...).
This is a turning point in our lives and I feel like whatever decision is made will affect us for the rest of our lives. The questions is will it affect us positively or negatively? Anyone who knows me knows I am indecisive to say the least. I can make split second decisions in emergency situations and everyday in class...but where to eat dinner, what car to buy, and what to do at this point in life...I don't like decisions like that. I also recognize that really it is a decision my husband needs to make. It will be him either being a Marine for another 4 years or living wherever. In both AL and DC we will be away from my family, no surprise there...jobs in Ohio for teachers (or librarians) don't really exist. Although in DC we would probably make some weekend trips if we could afford it. Another crazy thing for this "independent" woman to say is that he's the head of our household, God says so. I know Dave will take my thoughts and feelings into consideration, but I really feel like this is a choice he needs to be the one to make. If he doesn't and I try to make it for us...I feel like it could drive a wedge between us. Maybe not right away, but further on down the line. I suppose only time will tell what lies in store for us and out future...I'm just going to have to leave it in capable male hands for now.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Doledrum Days of Deployment
Random comment: I love allitertion :)
The approach of October made me a very excited girl. Then once the calendar turned, so did my upbeat, this isn't so bad attitude. I've been in a funk this past week. I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but I just feel crumby. I will be perfectly fine all day at school then come home and have a meltdown over something stupid. I've been having a lot of what Oprah calls "ugly cries" too. Had one today in fact when I hung up the phone with Dave. I have no idea why, it was so great to hear his voice today...but hung up and had my meltdown. When Dave first left the meltdowns happenned a lot. Then I reached the point where I was good and those meltdowns didn't happen for a long time. Now, meltdowns attack me when I least expect them. I was driving home from school on Friday and heard the Avril Lavigne song "I Need You." I was fine until halfway through the song as I was turning onto my road I just started bawling. I'm feel like a crazy person, but I've talked to some other friends with deployed spouses and they are having the same thing happenning so it makes me feel ok. Apparently this crazy emotional roller coaster is just par for the course (I hate golf).
On the upside I am LOVING my students this year. Even the most frustrating students really aren't that bad. I look forward to each school day and wonder what new thing I will learn about myself and them. My last class is especially fun because they get to hear a lot of my random stories. We go to lunch about 20 minutes into class and then come back after lunch and finish out the class. (Sucky schedule...someone should realize breaking up instructional time like that is a bad idea...) So anyhow, we end up with only a few minutes before time for lunch when I don't want to start into the next thing...so they get a goofy story. They love it, I love it. It's a win-win situation. I will probably be crying a lot on the last day of school because these students are helping me get through some of the toughest days of my life. I've had tough days before, but I feel like part of me is missing right now. I never thought I would say that, but it is how I feel. I do need my husband (I'm the girl who never needs anyone, just ask my mother), but I am finally realizing I really do need him around. I can survive without him, but life just isn't the same with him across the ocean...
My battery is dying on the laptop and I'm too lazy to go get the powercord so I'll end this entry. I need to get to bed anyhow... I'm hoping October will speed by and it will be Thanksgiving before I know it. Once we start getting into the numerous days off from school I'll be ok... Til then I'll just look forward to ending my days with my fourth core kids instead of my husband.
The approach of October made me a very excited girl. Then once the calendar turned, so did my upbeat, this isn't so bad attitude. I've been in a funk this past week. I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but I just feel crumby. I will be perfectly fine all day at school then come home and have a meltdown over something stupid. I've been having a lot of what Oprah calls "ugly cries" too. Had one today in fact when I hung up the phone with Dave. I have no idea why, it was so great to hear his voice today...but hung up and had my meltdown. When Dave first left the meltdowns happenned a lot. Then I reached the point where I was good and those meltdowns didn't happen for a long time. Now, meltdowns attack me when I least expect them. I was driving home from school on Friday and heard the Avril Lavigne song "I Need You." I was fine until halfway through the song as I was turning onto my road I just started bawling. I'm feel like a crazy person, but I've talked to some other friends with deployed spouses and they are having the same thing happenning so it makes me feel ok. Apparently this crazy emotional roller coaster is just par for the course (I hate golf).
On the upside I am LOVING my students this year. Even the most frustrating students really aren't that bad. I look forward to each school day and wonder what new thing I will learn about myself and them. My last class is especially fun because they get to hear a lot of my random stories. We go to lunch about 20 minutes into class and then come back after lunch and finish out the class. (Sucky schedule...someone should realize breaking up instructional time like that is a bad idea...) So anyhow, we end up with only a few minutes before time for lunch when I don't want to start into the next thing...so they get a goofy story. They love it, I love it. It's a win-win situation. I will probably be crying a lot on the last day of school because these students are helping me get through some of the toughest days of my life. I've had tough days before, but I feel like part of me is missing right now. I never thought I would say that, but it is how I feel. I do need my husband (I'm the girl who never needs anyone, just ask my mother), but I am finally realizing I really do need him around. I can survive without him, but life just isn't the same with him across the ocean...
My battery is dying on the laptop and I'm too lazy to go get the powercord so I'll end this entry. I need to get to bed anyhow... I'm hoping October will speed by and it will be Thanksgiving before I know it. Once we start getting into the numerous days off from school I'll be ok... Til then I'll just look forward to ending my days with my fourth core kids instead of my husband.
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